tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82995418015821035702024-03-05T00:03:53.349-08:00The Princess VetMissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-46321233184361778112015-03-12T11:18:00.001-07:002015-03-12T11:18:19.888-07:00Please VoteIf you haven’t heard yet, I have been nominated as Best Blogger in Northern California. Currently, I am listed in 2nd place out of 114 nominees. The voting takes place for another 52 days.
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MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-335312615793283962012-01-05T13:38:00.000-08:002012-01-05T13:38:34.987-08:00The New Ruler of OZ Bitches!!Somewhere out there is a CuntBlister waking up from a cheap vodka hangover and a Royal ass beating. Once the reality of what has happened finally sinks in, she will slink away with her granny panties knotted up her ass.<br />
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This is the story of how the Royal Family took the Land of Oz from a worthless Ho.<br />
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Once upon a time The Royals had a princess who called her self a Trash Talking Bitch. She claimed she was all Royal and more. But the only thing she proved herself to be was a bitch through and through. And not the good "Love you Skank" type of bitch, but the "I will stab you in the back with a knife and take whatever I want" type of bitch. The type of bitch that you wish had parents smart enough to use a coat hanger when conception occurred.<br />
She decided to take over ruling one of the Kingdom's belonging to the Royal family, the Kingdom of Oz. Had she told the Queen what she wanted, it would have been hers. But like a true cunt bitch, she took what she wanted and then got butt hurt when no one thought her cute anymore. We all saw her for the nasty back alley skank that she was, and tossed her fat ass out of the kingdom.<br />
After taking what she wanted she ran away and hid, thinking she could come back as a changed person! Fob herself off on the world again, as a sweet and good natured book reader. She knew no one could possibly like her for who she is, so she had to pretend to be someone else.<br />
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But she couldn't even pull that off. Being the bitch that she is, she fucked over another Royal ONCE MORE, just to see her way to the top. And that's when the Kingdom of Oz rebelled. You see they happened to peak behind the brunette and her curtain and saw what she really was:<br />
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And they saw her evil plan to turn all of Oz into Zombie Strippers to take over the world:<br />
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Right away they flew in the <a href="http://dutchessofdorkville.blogspot.com/">Dutchess of Dorkville</a> to negotiate a take over. After a few hours of begging and pleading to be taken out from under the thumb of the Fucktard Cunt Blister, and after promising fealty to the true Queendom, the Duchess was ready to take them back under the rule of the Royals.<br />
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<a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/2012/01/we-stole-oz.html">But who would run Oz?</a><br />
Once the Queen had the sign contract in her hand she knew it was time to grant me, the Princess Vet, My own lands. Where else to have the Royal Zoo? The wonderful Land of Oz!!<br />
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The Flying Monkeys were so happy for a new leader!<br />
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They got so tired of being used and abused by a Cunt Blister for her every whim.<br />
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Next thing I knew... The Queendom of Oz sent a house to land on top of the Cunt Blister!<br />
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And they gave me her shoes as a welcome home present!!<br />
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It's sad that someone who had so much promise decided to become a bitch for evil. But now she will remain as a bed time story for our children. To remind them of what happens when you mess with the Royals!<br />
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We make sure everyone sees your true side!<br />
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I am happily getting the Queendom of Oz back into shape. I love it here! But it's not my home. I still reside with the Queen whenever I can get away from all of the demands of the Royal Zoo.<br />
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<br />MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-2878345839386057752012-01-03T20:35:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:35:22.522-08:00How I got my crown. 12/30/11<br />
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After much thought and <strike> drinking </strike> planning, I decided it was time to ask the Queen if I can be made a Princess. But <a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/2011/12/girls-surprised-me.html">she super wigged out on me</a> so I did the next best thing and sucked up to<a href="http://dutchessofdorkville.blogspot.com/"> Auntie Dutch!!</a> I was still made to<a href="http://theroyalstellall.blogspot.com/2011/12/why-i-deserve-promotion-royal-vet.html"> put it in writing as part of a formality</a> however. (The Queen must have thought that no one would stay sober long enough to write a petition, but she hired me for my brains not my beer chugging abilities.) And before you could shake your ass twice I was declared a Royal and family!!<br />
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Now since I was not born into the Royal family PWT made me sign a petition stating that I would steer clear of her Beer Tab crown....<br />
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I am pretty sure the hooker made me sign away my left boob with it.<br />
But I decided then and there that I needed my own crown. I asked the Queen about it and she told me she wasn't gonna piss money away on something I could get at the dollar store, when it would probly just get swallowed by a gator in the first place. I tried to explain that we could insure it in case something happened, but she got a phone call from PWT that sent her running and screaming out the door. <a href="http://pleaseweartiara.blogspot.com/2011/12/sushi-named-lucky.html">Something about handicapped fish sticks and red rum</a>... Sounded down right delish to me! So maybe that's why she flew out the door like her ass was on fire. Or maybe it's some sex position I am not familiar with... Either way I still wanted my dam crown.<br />
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The next day I was surprised with a party in my honor at the castle!<br />
Auntie Dutch had even had the hookers make me a dress!!<br />
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What did you expect.... we spend all of our money on gin!! But I did hear that the <a href="http://tittywhiskers.blogspot.com/">Bartender</a> broke into the Queen's personal stash of TP for the special occasion.<br />
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(She always has the good stuff!!)</div>
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The <a href="http://thismamashops.blogspot.com/">Lovely Dame</a> rented me my own personal limo to parade around the Queendom in:</div>
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Even though the focus was on me, and me wanting a crown, we still managed to have fun and play games:</div>
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(It's similar to a game we played in High school called "Sex Ed")</div>
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The Bartender entertained us with some of the tricks of her trade:</div>
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I have to admit... Even without a crown I was feeling very Royal when the Queen broke out the Royal glassware to toast in my honor:</div>
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I even got a few gifts:</div>
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SO CLASSY!!</div>
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But I still wanted a crown. So the Queen sent all the drunkards out to find me one... And this is what I got from <a href="http://dazeedreams.blogspot.com/">Dazee</a></div>
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She is pretty crafty with that knife. I can't lie.</div>
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And one of the John's brought me a throne:</div>
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But I am pretty certain the Queen is gonna steal that from me.</div>
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Finally our <a href="http://masksnomore.blogspot.com/">Royal Sister Wife</a> told me that I needed to find my own dam crown and that it needed to be unique to me. </div>
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Well I am the Princess VET......</div>
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So my crown is a peacock!</div>
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<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-55384024522682138522012-01-03T20:34:00.003-08:002012-01-03T20:34:47.583-08:00It all started with a t-shirt. 12/21/11<br />
I hope you've all been keeping up with the other Royals and our exploits out on the high seas.<br />
The Dutchess thought she was playing in a <a href="http://dutchessofdorkville.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-scavenger-huntroyal-style.html">Scavenger Hunt</a> and really she just picked up my shopping list. You have to watch these broads... they steal your crap!!<br />
PWT stopped being a legal genius long enough to catch a heli out to the ship, and then we caught her texting on her cell phone, <a href="http://pleaseweartiara.blogspot.com/2011/12/cerebral-auto-correct.html">rambling on and on about auto-correct, dead hookers.</a>.. and I am pretty sure a few racial slurs. She started to cry cerebral-rape when we grabbed her phone and threw it over board. But the Queen put a bottle in her hand and she calmed down. So much for leaving the spoiled princesses on the mainland!!<br />
In case you are not aware, the <a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/2011/12/ok-grabbed-quick-half-bottle-of-wine.html">Royal bartender and I won a contest</a> of sorts... We still haven't received our prizes yet. Which really isn't that surprising since the Queen jips us on our W-2's already, cheap twat.<br />
The <a href="http://masksnomore.blogspot.com/2011/12/oh-what-night-and-todays-activitity.html">Royal Sister Wife decided to take over the Captain's position,</a> because she felt that having the sluttiest captain's costume made it so. And of course no one was sober enough to ask her for a drivers license or learners permit or green card, so we ended up out in the middle of nowhere.... Which is how this story begins...<br />
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Being lost on the ocean isn't so bad... unless you have a bunch of drunk/high old woman. The Queen assumed that since she can "Witch Water" she can navigate by the stars... Which consisted of us mainly sailing in circles trying to catch the brightest stars. It wasn't until morning came and the Dutchess saw my tshirt, that all hell broke loose. I should known better....<br />
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^^^That was my t-shirt^^^</div>
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Yup, you guessed it. The Dutchess said it was a sign from Willy to go home... to whore island. I really should have stopped her... but we spent all night in circles chasing stars and trying to figure out why Dutch was throwing crap into her big purse, that I thought "What's the worst that could happen?"</div>
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Dutchess piloted the boat.</div>
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I'm pretty sure she has no sense of direction in the rare times that she is sober...</div>
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However she did find Whore Island.</div>
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Shocking??? Yes and no. </div>
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Anywho once we arrived the Queen decreed that we start up a local campaign to <strike>raise booze money </strike> to show we come in peace.</div>
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It went over quite well with the locals.</div>
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They even painted my portrait as a going away gift</div>
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As with all good things, what happens on whore island-stays on whore island.</div>
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I can tell you that after the night we had, it caused the Chief of the Whore Island Hookers to erect some signs up around the zoo:</div>
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We had a lot of fun, helped a lot of hookers, and I even came home with a zebra for my collection!</div>
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</div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-7428468767072872022012-01-03T20:34:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:34:14.122-08:00Royal Cruise.... Epic Fail 12/16/11<br />
Apparently it's time for the Royal Family to hold a Royal reunion. After our cousins hosted that gaudy wedding across the pond, The Queen decided it was best for us to be simple this year and go on a cruise.<br />
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<a href="http://www.photos4travel.com/caribbean/aruba/photos/cruise-ship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.photos4travel.com/caribbean/aruba/photos/cruise-ship.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Well... You know how the Queen gets when a man in cowboy boots shows her something shiny...I hear it has a pool for the gators so my presence is requested.<br />
Anywho... I am not against cruises... I just know that on land we can always find a liquor store. Plus I am not even sure half of those wenches can swim....<br />
And I know that at some point the Queen will drunkenly attempt to "Drink the Ocean to find the worm".<br />
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My understanding is that everyone is coming! Even the Dame is out of retirement. Well I should say everyone except the Princess formerly known as CB. Apparently this happened the last time her and her ego got on a boat...<br />
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<a href="http://2pep.com/funny%20pics/laughing%20humorous%20pictures/super_funny_cute%20images_dad00af876f2418dc54c00cdc4960242.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="http://2pep.com/funny%20pics/laughing%20humorous%20pictures/super_funny_cute%20images_dad00af876f2418dc54c00cdc4960242.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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All in all I think it will be something to write home about. Keep an eye out for the other Royals... We like to tell stories on each other!<br />
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<a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" jdib" src="http://i442.photobucket.com/albums/qq146/queenie249/d43a19e5.gif" /></a><br />
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<br />MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-65705264897538536532012-01-03T20:33:00.002-08:002012-01-03T20:33:40.091-08:00Royal Road Trip- Tattoos and a Missing QUEEN! 3/7/11<br />
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<a href="http://i778.photobucket.com/albums/yy62/Dutchessofdorkville/2010RRT.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i778.photobucket.com/albums/yy62/Dutchessofdorkville/2010RRT.gif" /></a></div>
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Well. you guessed it. </div>
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The Royals have had another crazy day.</div>
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If it wasn't for camera phones NONE of us would remember a thing.</div>
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It all started with me sharing this CRAZY hot picture of Adam Lavine..</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKy2jZ7-D3M6kKyK7Arals21TnFvvGUN882GJnau7g2dwuFUFJDpzXdvPqlruN27ytQ65QkXBNohPYE1InWiNZRes_R4dk815QrLrU7O1eMLwmEtTbX-070sM2VwYHxGGW5RF2ARHrytc/s1600/adam-levine-naked.jpg1_-e1294326411685.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKy2jZ7-D3M6kKyK7Arals21TnFvvGUN882GJnau7g2dwuFUFJDpzXdvPqlruN27ytQ65QkXBNohPYE1InWiNZRes_R4dk815QrLrU7O1eMLwmEtTbX-070sM2VwYHxGGW5RF2ARHrytc/s320/adam-levine-naked.jpg1_-e1294326411685.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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Then the Dutchess was on the lookout for a tattoo parlor. I swear we tore threw New Orleans trying to find just the right spot. What we all forgot however... Is that the Dutchess is one CHEAP pimp.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgukEjsNaewkLLAE3Z29ZI0c5tPCRbrah_ovMDukSO6CBCMqXM4hNdrLNcrlawvMrW-fW1r30Qam57giW-jhnIl2VDeC8ThiMVpjyRyFMXQaN2HG2lDe1jc6G5BWqG7OtVsVZ2Ca14XJYM/s1600/chances-ii-creepy-tattoo-piercings-camouflage-chances-demotivational-poster-1249657952.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgukEjsNaewkLLAE3Z29ZI0c5tPCRbrah_ovMDukSO6CBCMqXM4hNdrLNcrlawvMrW-fW1r30Qam57giW-jhnIl2VDeC8ThiMVpjyRyFMXQaN2HG2lDe1jc6G5BWqG7OtVsVZ2Ca14XJYM/s320/chances-ii-creepy-tattoo-piercings-camouflage-chances-demotivational-poster-1249657952.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We all hit the bottle.</div>
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After all... We had committed to tattoos....</div>
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And we hadn't been specific with the details.</div>
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The Dutch went first:</div>
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<a href="http://i3.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/590/draft_lens6311372module51115261photo_5_1249970563funny-female-tattoo-gallery-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://i3.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/590/draft_lens6311372module51115261photo_5_1249970563funny-female-tattoo-gallery-4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She cackled like a crazy the whole time!</div>
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Of course... Now she claims she doesn't need to wear a bra.</div>
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PWT, Ange and CC went next:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZpgyxSOHM4lGnyE75EmYR49k1Hr3tS6lyMWtl7OXlZ58FoyS7RhnqUX4t57_obdqxyuBBzTFt-5lURpDuFIITH8j0RBxHF_7JxtGwycQn_BFGtW7FkBxftQDKFvxXq8h41Jc_5ikka1U/s1600/threetattoogirls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZpgyxSOHM4lGnyE75EmYR49k1Hr3tS6lyMWtl7OXlZ58FoyS7RhnqUX4t57_obdqxyuBBzTFt-5lURpDuFIITH8j0RBxHF_7JxtGwycQn_BFGtW7FkBxftQDKFvxXq8h41Jc_5ikka1U/s320/threetattoogirls.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Well... We never claimed they were the classy ones of the group.</div>
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Not to be outdone.... Gucci had her namesake done across one of her most valuable ASSets:</div>
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<a href="http://www.ice-dotcom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Gucci-Ass-Tattoo-e1286471047999.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.ice-dotcom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Gucci-Ass-Tattoo-e1286471047999.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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~Spanky spanky~</div>
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Someone apparently forgot to keep the bartender out of the booze, or the special brownies... Cause she came back with this:</div>
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<a href="http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/8700000/Funny-Tattoo-tattoos-8741146-564-586.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/8700000/Funny-Tattoo-tattoos-8741146-564-586.jpg" width="307" /></a></div>
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She kept running all around the parking lot making car noises and screaming:</div>
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"I LEFT MY HEADLIGHTS ON!!!"</div>
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The Hooker House mom was smart!</div>
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She did all kinds of research for the perfect Tattoo and ended up finding this:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjakk3XjJGBRwvwxKQpsVxTvzc-f8uUX2IPXHyrCHm0Q6u3kllrs26UfOG5SCAliXOGNxvO8ejNcJMKDqp6fLHv6tLCCTA8Fmd-F6EZjpM_lwqE1jm5igIQYwzyuf5fb6ebu9DkMvWM_MQ/s1600/184919_1640369565504_1124735358_31401039_4272018_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjakk3XjJGBRwvwxKQpsVxTvzc-f8uUX2IPXHyrCHm0Q6u3kllrs26UfOG5SCAliXOGNxvO8ejNcJMKDqp6fLHv6tLCCTA8Fmd-F6EZjpM_lwqE1jm5igIQYwzyuf5fb6ebu9DkMvWM_MQ/s320/184919_1640369565504_1124735358_31401039_4272018_n.jpg" width="242" /></a></div>
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However...She forgot we were being tattooed by a man in a van. </div>
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So she came out with this:</div>
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<a href="http://www.retardzone.com/uploads/2007/09/tattoo-too-weird-04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.retardzone.com/uploads/2007/09/tattoo-too-weird-04.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
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The Queen wanted a new tattoo:</div>
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<a href="http://www.funatico.com/media/pics/overtattooedoldlady207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.funatico.com/media/pics/overtattooedoldlady207.jpg" width="295" /></a></div>
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But really... She had no room left.</div>
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It was quite the day!!</div>
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And then night came. I remember hearing something over the radio about the Queen moving to the back of the convoy.. I just assumed she wanted to make sure no one was throwing booze or xanax out a bus in a drunken stupor. But when we got to the Hotel she was still no where to be found.</div>
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It wasn't until we got the<a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/2011/03/crisis-on-road.html"> ransom note</a> that we knew we were in HUGE trouble.</div>
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There was talk about not paying the ransom... After all there is a beer tab crown at stake!</div>
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But since "No one" was quite sure where it was hidden at, we figured it'd be better to rescue her, pump her full of xanax and convince her she had a bad dream!</div>
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The bar tender... Who had by then sobered up, remembered ALL of the booze bottles we had lying around from earlier in the day, and knew we could form a plan!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9p8CXWecNggoqonDEqYfjsyTQTVQybLYDsAZlSHciQ8njwEm01e57NK9YEkdhzi7sUTr-9SOemFMITiC0o5ffeFLX2fbn3NmSDDRfrgJjEVPR-_z0AWvfrocoHutKSzqGBVHz0Qc9Bo-P/s320/liquor_bottles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9p8CXWecNggoqonDEqYfjsyTQTVQybLYDsAZlSHciQ8njwEm01e57NK9YEkdhzi7sUTr-9SOemFMITiC0o5ffeFLX2fbn3NmSDDRfrgJjEVPR-_z0AWvfrocoHutKSzqGBVHz0Qc9Bo-P/s320/liquor_bottles.jpg" /></a></div>
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If they wanted Gin, we would give it to them!</div>
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We filled that dumpster up with all of the liquor bottles we had, all lined up nice and neatly. When those suckers came to drop off the Queen that were so excited at the "Bounty O' Booze" We had provided to get our Queen back, that they gave her one good kick our direction and jumped head first into the dumpster!</div>
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Silly kidnappers!!!</div>
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We always carry Crocs with us!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAeuX1Cbh7hbkkiOwox-xacxNoyvfxpi4Ct7C6fdLZYP4t1O1DZjSeGuqhTRtfheP5sx55gZvqBpGY3bQ77ydvQ27Qpi8RzXON_pn1G9Lf2jiup0Dqwk-bEsbsslGoZiDPvwbF9cFl2M0/s1600/crocincan.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAeuX1Cbh7hbkkiOwox-xacxNoyvfxpi4Ct7C6fdLZYP4t1O1DZjSeGuqhTRtfheP5sx55gZvqBpGY3bQ77ydvQ27Qpi8RzXON_pn1G9Lf2jiup0Dqwk-bEsbsslGoZiDPvwbF9cFl2M0/s320/crocincan.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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We are still awaiting punishment...Whenever the Queen recovers.</div>
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Until then it is on with the road trip!</div>
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<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-54277139752068094452012-01-03T20:33:00.000-08:002012-01-03T20:33:06.250-08:00Royals on parade. And our fantastic Rides! 3/5/11<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5qOQJZmSyRRdJhaie8t2r6Sfhw-v53Oskbg-YLPo2dOXAtDs3SF6-grUdrV51QRZi50hyphenhyphenNg-qbiqM4GSPqUx5WUPpc5D5ym-3uKSHLiU2vxJIrMOgV0PHP2z9b3pW04UIrSKK9xdlymE/s400/2010RRT.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5qOQJZmSyRRdJhaie8t2r6Sfhw-v53Oskbg-YLPo2dOXAtDs3SF6-grUdrV51QRZi50hyphenhyphenNg-qbiqM4GSPqUx5WUPpc5D5ym-3uKSHLiU2vxJIrMOgV0PHP2z9b3pW04UIrSKK9xdlymE/s400/2010RRT.gif" /></a></div>
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As you all know we are heading out on our Royal Road Trip!</div>
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Last year we traveled in style, So of course we had to out do ourselves this trip!</div>
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It should surprise no one that my bus is pink.</div>
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<a href="http://www.lolzimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/FunnyBus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="205" src="http://www.lolzimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/FunnyBus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This is more like the Queen's dog's bus.</div>
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<a href="http://www.halloweenmart.com/media/core/PMG685800Q_QUEEN_DOG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.halloweenmart.com/media/core/PMG685800Q_QUEEN_DOG.jpg" /></a></div>
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She is one spoiled pooch!!</div>
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We have a trailer attached to my bus just for her house. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyZE3w6klUvLTWbR2oa269yE41EcHcNiJrgrenfEK4Ja6IYudvKp51Zgn8kPvE3Ta2b4OhjSyeWAq2oBW4JQStOsf1t_1lsBi46eC4Mi8WWS7w-OH92WQNVWZeeYibFJl94d-9PvoLYcgR/s400/extreme_dog_houses_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyZE3w6klUvLTWbR2oa269yE41EcHcNiJrgrenfEK4Ja6IYudvKp51Zgn8kPvE3Ta2b4OhjSyeWAq2oBW4JQStOsf1t_1lsBi46eC4Mi8WWS7w-OH92WQNVWZeeYibFJl94d-9PvoLYcgR/s320/extreme_dog_houses_01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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After all... She can't be expected to travel with the Other's!</div>
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(When she is feeling generous she lets me use that hot tub)</div>
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I think my bus gets the point across that all I carry is the fuzzie wuzzies (The Royal's have many pets!) and there ain't nothing to steal in here.</div>
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Especially not the prized and coveted Beer Tab Crown.</div>
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<a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSEmUrlzl3lfP6b6puh65vnV_fif2wWodOXsfjfoX30kWqHhR2n&t=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSEmUrlzl3lfP6b6puh65vnV_fif2wWodOXsfjfoX30kWqHhR2n&t=1" /></a></div>
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Now the<a href="http://www.the-lunatic-cafe.blogspot.com/"> Royal Bartender </a>on the other hand...Her bus has the good stuff!</div>
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And being the clever little wench that she is, she wanted to make the booze hard to get to!</div>
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She figured that anyone dumb enough to rob a Royal Bus, couldn't be smart enough to figure this out:</div>
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<a href="http://www.gamesfree.ca/wg_images/img_gal/lIyLZIJy0gNF5sQfSJ1PEVgamesfree_ca_bus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.gamesfree.ca/wg_images/img_gal/lIyLZIJy0gNF5sQfSJ1PEVgamesfree_ca_bus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She's pretty much never wrong... So I'm gonna trust her judgement on this one.</div>
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I just hope the rest of us can find the booze when we are 3 sheets to the wind!!</div>
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Of course our <a href="http://nameswontbechanged.blogspot.com/">Royal Legal Aid</a>, Ange, had to come along!! If we'd had her with us last year maybe we coulda kept Poor Willie from bein sent to the pokey.</div>
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Ange is one sexy vixen! And she likes to spice things up when she is on a road trip:</div>
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2309/2148593824_a610c25018.jpg?v=0" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2309/2148593824_a610c25018.jpg?v=0" width="320" /></a></div>
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From what I understand... It comes fully equipped with trampolines, hot tubs and stripper poles! </div>
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What happens on the bus, stays on the bus!</div>
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The<a href="http://batcrapcrazy.blogspot.com/"> Royal Duck</a> gets her own ride too:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkmBPre21Ebe7D9J-trzxykNDRJgYOOvJ4fnAkuOF3ScPDxqYTHnYtMYNRs7zTNBZ-IYFk-1Bd_7q9FP7oFKkuKVmwR7t0bniXQt8RWoGyxl-NZNcN6V-NER6p1l__IFzI7PnbCh9sJVQj/s400/duck+bus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkmBPre21Ebe7D9J-trzxykNDRJgYOOvJ4fnAkuOF3ScPDxqYTHnYtMYNRs7zTNBZ-IYFk-1Bd_7q9FP7oFKkuKVmwR7t0bniXQt8RWoGyxl-NZNcN6V-NER6p1l__IFzI7PnbCh9sJVQj/s400/duck+bus.jpg" /></a></div>
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The queen never goes anywhere without her duck!</div>
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The <a href="http://masksnomore.blogspot.com/">Royal BodyGuard's </a>bus is quite intimidating!</div>
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<a href="http://www.kcconfidential.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Navy-Killer-Bus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="http://www.kcconfidential.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Navy-Killer-Bus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I have heard she is able to be in front of us and behind us at the EXACT same time!!!</div>
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I'm glad she is on our side!!!</div>
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<a href="http://www.babesrockinmami.com/">Babe's</a> just a badass in general. </div>
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So of course her bus matches her epic personality!</div>
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<a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSuqOg-mlXRF7LO9tZgbE_Zoz6YYo_cx0Wy7WSLDT-c5JOdFSWpPA&t=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSuqOg-mlXRF7LO9tZgbE_Zoz6YYo_cx0Wy7WSLDT-c5JOdFSWpPA&t=1" /></a></div>
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Rumor is.... It will come home purple!!!</div>
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She has all of the awesome music too.</div>
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Kelly, the Royal Candy Girl gets her own bus as well!</div>
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2510/3786489378_c011e690dd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2510/3786489378_c011e690dd.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We always send her into town first to make friends.</div>
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Be careful... She only looks sweet and innocent!</div>
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PWT is also one sexy BAMF!!</div>
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We love to take her bus to the beach.... Freaks everyone out!</div>
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<a href="http://startelegram.typepad.com/cowtown_kingpin/images/2008/08/21/girlsgonewild1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://startelegram.typepad.com/cowtown_kingpin/images/2008/08/21/girlsgonewild1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://dutchessofdorkville.blogspot.com/">The Dutchess</a>.... Well her bus needed to make a statement....</div>
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<a href="http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Funny-Bus-8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Funny-Bus-8.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And that statement is:</div>
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STAY the frick away from my weed or I will run your teeny weenie over and wear you as a hood ornament!</div>
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I think she gets her point across.</div>
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What exactly does <a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/">the Queen</a> drive you ask?</div>
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<a href="http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/wheelie_bus_right.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/wheelie_bus_right.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She likes to get where she is wanting to go!</div>
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So stay out of her way or we will run you over!!</div>
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Stay tuned for more adventures from the Royal Road Trip. And make sure to check out the Other Royal's blog posts!!</div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-30972048766186416192012-01-03T20:32:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:32:28.152-08:00Another Road Trip...? Oh yes it's true!! 3/4/11<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5qOQJZmSyRRdJhaie8t2r6Sfhw-v53Oskbg-YLPo2dOXAtDs3SF6-grUdrV51QRZi50hyphenhyphenNg-qbiqM4GSPqUx5WUPpc5D5ym-3uKSHLiU2vxJIrMOgV0PHP2z9b3pW04UIrSKK9xdlymE/s400/2010RRT.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5qOQJZmSyRRdJhaie8t2r6Sfhw-v53Oskbg-YLPo2dOXAtDs3SF6-grUdrV51QRZi50hyphenhyphenNg-qbiqM4GSPqUx5WUPpc5D5ym-3uKSHLiU2vxJIrMOgV0PHP2z9b3pW04UIrSKK9xdlymE/s400/2010RRT.gif" /></a></div>
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You heard correct folks! The Royals are packing up the busses and traveling to where ever strikes our fancies!!</div>
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I want to come and visit YOU!</div>
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Think you are brave enough to host one of my Royal Road Trip posts?</div>
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Then email me at </div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">whimsical.miss@gmail.com</span></b></div>
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We want to come visit you and your readers and tell them about the side of you that rears it's head when the Royals come to town!</div>
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Check out one of my Posts from when the Royals came to California and I showed them around:</div>
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<a href="http://lunaticwhimsy.blogspot.com/2010/11/royals-road-trip-california.html">Royals in California</a></div>
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Stay tuned to all of the Royals Blogs to see where we will hit next!</div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://rhodeislandread.blogspot.com/p/chicken-evolution.html">The Chicken!</a></span></b><br />
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</tbody></table>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-59226390633746547322012-01-03T20:31:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:31:54.012-08:00Why men are incapable of being complicated. 2/19/11<br />
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<a href="http://sandiegoblog.com/images/sexed2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://sandiegoblog.com/images/sexed2.jpg" /></a></div>
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So this week in class I have been studying the Reproductive System and it has been an eye opening experience. I also have some very interesting theories because of it. So sit back and enjoy a crash course in how a man's body works and why I think it makes them so retarded.<br />
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<a href="http://www.byhealth.com/files/male-reproductive-system.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="326" src="http://www.byhealth.com/files/male-reproductive-system.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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So in case you don't know.... This is what the man's reproductive System looks like. It looks pretty straight forward, it even sounds very straight forward: Produce hormones and grow some spermies. But in typical male fashion... They have to do it the hard way. With a complicated system of organs, glands, structures and tubes.<br />
The testicles, while ridiculously looking, have two basic functions: Growin Spermies and makin hormones. (It's called Spermatogenesis.) They have a set of tubes called Seminiferous tubules, this is where Meiosis takes place to produce spermies, it is also where cells that produce androgens exist. Those androgens are what produce Testosterone. And we all know what testosterone does for men! Now so that I don't lose you... I won't go into ALL of the details for how testes develop. But let's just say it's a 4 step process all on it's own.<br />
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<a href="http://www.1tcan.com/pics/tees/sperm-pjm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.1tcan.com/pics/tees/sperm-pjm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Many people don't know that Spermies have three parts. The head is it's brain, (duh) But it also has digestive enzymes that release when it enters the vagina and help the spermies penetrate through the ovum layers for fertilization. (So much for saying a Vag has teeth!!) Then its body is where its energy comes from, and it's tail moves it along. Spermies go through 3 different stages JUST to become spermies.<br />
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<a href="http://rlv.zcache.com/carpe_scrotum_dark_tshirt-p235490153964930234san1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/carpe_scrotum_dark_tshirt-p235490153964930234san1_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Now we all know that the scrotum (Who comes up with these horrible names!?) is where the testes live. But it works hard to keep the testes at a temp just slightly cooler than the body, if it doesn't, then the testes can't make spermies. The scrotum has a muscle called the Cremaster muscle (Ya... a dude totally made that one up) and it can hang em low if they get too hot. Or suck em back up if they get too cold.</div>
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Next up is the Spermatic Cord. This cord is what links the Testicles to the rest of the body. It's a tube, but it has all sorts of blood vessels, connective tissue structures, nerves, lymphatic vessels and the vas deferens. All of these bits and pieces work to keep the testes at the right temp, without having the body lose any heat. (It's a super cool process... But seriously... like 10 steps long!) The spermatic cord is basically the heating blanket for the testicles.</div>
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Probly the funniest part of all this is the Structure. Or more importantly the Names of the structure.</div>
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<a href="http://gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net/o1/gamestar/objects/263187_main.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net/o1/gamestar/objects/263187_main.jpg" /></a></div>
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There are two layers of connective tissue called VAGINAL TUNICS (Yes you read that right) that surrounds the testes and the spermatic cord. The thin inner layer is the Visceral Vaginal Tunic, also known as the PROPER vaginal tunic. And then the outer layer is called the Parietal Vaginal Tunic. Or the Common vaginal tunic.</div>
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Ok Timeout.... What scientist, when naming the penis, said "Sorry to leave you out wife. You can name these other pieces." I'm just sayin.....</div>
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These tunics form sacs that encase EACH testicle and the spermatic cord. Then beneath those "sacs" are the capsules that also protects and supports the testes. (It's like a Serta Sleep Number bed in there!!) </div>
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At this point I realize why men feel the need to nap all the time. If I had that much going on in my body I'd be tired all the time too. </div>
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Once Spermies are all produced and ready to do their job, they get sent to a storage site called the epididymous. (And in true male fashion, that is also a 4 step process.) The cool thing about the epididymous however, is that while it lies along the surface of the testis, if you were to stretch it out... it would be about 20 feet in length!! So spermies stay in the epididymous for about a week before they are mature and can be ejaculated.</div>
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Speaking of ejaculation... It's the job of a muscular tube called the Vas Deferens that sends all the little spermies down the slip and slide. (I won't try to explain how. Per usual, it's long and complicated.) </div>
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<a href="http://www.funnycoolstuff.com/wp-content/gallery/gallery-1/sperm-growth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.funnycoolstuff.com/wp-content/gallery/gallery-1/sperm-growth.jpg" /></a></div>
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Most people don't know that when ejaculation occurs, it's more than just spermies that come racing out. It's mostly secretions from the accessory reproductive glands. These secretions are mostly an alkaline mixture that helps to counteract the acidity of the female reproductive tract. </div>
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At this point I could tell you about the Urethra, the seminal vesicles, the prostate glands and the bulbourethral glands... But I think you get the picture of just how complicated men really are.</div>
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<a href="http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/files/2011/02/yikers_penis_lighting1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/files/2011/02/yikers_penis_lighting1.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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Now we get to the penis. The penis actually has 3 parts. The roots, which attach it to the brim of the pelvis, The body which is mainly made up of erectile tissue, and then the Glans or tip of the penis, which is full of sensory nerve endings. Last but not least is the erection and ejaculation stages of the penis... Which I feel no need to explain, as it is long and has many steps. I think by now you get the picture.</div>
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Are you tired yet? Just thinking of ALL of this happening all the time, since men are constantly making spermies, is REALLY tiring. </div>
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It's made me realize that this is why men are so uncomplicated. Who could be THIS complicated on the inside and on the outside? So when your man is staring off into space, and you ask what he is thinking of, and he says nothing... It's probly true. His brain goes into pause mode to help conserve energy while all of this is extra stuff is going on.</div>
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This is where woman have it all figured out! We are thinking ahead before we are born! All of our eggs are fully developed by the time we join the human race. Then we don't have to waste energy growing eggs the rest of our lives! Do we look like chickens? NO! We have to waste enough time taking care of the men in our life, we don't have that extra energy to expend.</div>
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<a href="http://dailyshite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Shark-Week.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="http://dailyshite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Shark-Week.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I mean really... none of our issues start until spermies get into our eggs and then ruin our bodies. </div>
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So in conclusion... Men = Uber complicated. This is why they don't think before they act/speak. Why they are constantly trying to sleep/relax. It also explains why they never ask for directions, they are OBVIOUSLY hard wired to do things the most difficult way as possible. </div>
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<a href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQAigcrvAj1_6rechNNyTVCJMVWlS6rkTr7a-hBDGLb3aWnL-XpIw&t=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQAigcrvAj1_6rechNNyTVCJMVWlS6rkTr7a-hBDGLb3aWnL-XpIw&t=1" width="278" /></a></div>
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So I know ya'll have been missing my posts on the life of the Royals.</div>
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Truth is we have new employees here in the Royal household.</div>
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<a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" jdib" src="http://i442.photobucket.com/albums/qq146/queenie249/04e6bc21.gif" /></a></div>
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So I have been busy getting all of their pets settled in, a long with midterms, and learning about spermies.</div>
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Stay tuned for more updates!</div>
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<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-59876859302906831892012-01-03T20:30:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:31:13.565-08:00100 Answers... Hey.. It's a Royal Thing. 1/11/11<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 20px;">So you might not have heard yet that the Royal Princess CB has returned....</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><a href="http://www.cigarettesandstilettos.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="One Crazy Brunette Chick" src="http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af60/grafixwife1/C_S/CS-Grab-Button-1.png" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">And she brought one hunk of a man with her!!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">That's right....</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">CB Has a body guard!</span></span></div>
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<center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><a href="http://justjen68theman.blogspot.com//"><img ?action="view&current=TheManButton.png"" albums="" border="0" http:="" lilphoenixbaseball="" s610.photobucket.com="" src="http://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=" target="_blank" tt185="" /><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i610.photobucket.com/albums/tt185/lilphoenixbaseball/TheManButton.png" /></a></span><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">He has been working hard.... Even got CB to answer 50 questions about herself!!.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">I know right??? I am also unsure as to how she was able to do that without one bajillion smoke breaks.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">However now the Princess, PWT, has done hers too.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><a href="http://pleaseweartiara.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="PTW" src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/PWT/gr4.gif" width="150" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">Or well half.... After all it is 50 questions!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">Not to get left behind... And I know you all want to know... I am going to answer them myself!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">ENJOY!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;">1 - How old do you act?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>Depends on the day. I can go 19-62 faster than Kyle Busch can turn left.</b></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><b>(That's right CB I said it!!)</b></i></span></div>
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2 - Why is the sky blue?</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>The sky appears blue to us on a clear day, because the atoms of nitrogen and oxygen in the atmosphere separate the suns white light into its many colors, and scatter them throughout the atmosphere.</b></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Um Hello... I am taking CHEMISTRY!!</b></span></div>
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3 - Do you burp, fart, or both in front of others?</div>
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<i><b>I have to reiterate CB's answer... We don't say the F word here.</b></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Despite what some people believe, those who really know me, know that I am not crude in any way. So my husband finds it hilarious to tickle me until I fluff or pee myself. </b></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">4 - Someone's writing a book based on your life. What would the title be?</span></div>
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<i><b>"The Next Movie Lifetime Will Make"</b></i></div>
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5 - How many days in a row can you go without taking a dump?</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>None.... As in I don't do that. </b></i></span></div>
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6 - Favorite childhood cartoon?</div>
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<i><b>My Little Ponies.</b></i></div>
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7 - Have you ever caught someone in the act of masturbating?</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>Oh Lord.....</b></i></span></div>
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8 - Favorite food to make/bake/cook/etc?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Anything easy that everyone thinks I am Mmmmmmarvelous for making!</b></i></div>
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9 - What's one redeeming quality about mushrooms?</div>
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<i><b>Candy Cap mushrooms are so sweet they make ice cream, and you don't have to add sugar!</b></i></div>
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10 - What's wrong with Richard Simmons?</div>
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<i><b>The fact that it's 2011 and he still gets perms. Duh! That chemical fries your brain.</b></i></div>
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11 - Name one celebrity who needs to come out of the closet.</div>
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<i><b>Simon Cowell.... Why do you think he is so mean all the time?</b></i></div>
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12 - Name one redeeming quality about asparagus.</div>
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<i><b>How about it tastes Divine!</b></i></div>
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13 - If "We Are the Champions", what are you?</div>
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<i><b>A ROYAL!</b></i></div>
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14 - What's something they taught you in school that should never be taught to anyone?</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>Anything past Long Division. Seriously.... Who uses anything beyond that??</b></i></span></div>
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15 - What's the deal with Steven Segal anyways?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Same as all the rest of the actors from the early 90's.... They can't get over that the 90's are long gone... And took their careers with em.</b></i></div>
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16 - Name two movies that should have never been made.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS.... Nothing else is coming to mind.</b></i></span></div>
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17 - Do you enjoy to point, stare, and laugh at others?</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>Mmmmmm Not so much. My generation texts all it's nasty comments.</b></span></div>
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18 - Name one or more words that every time you hear them, make you cringe.</div>
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<i><b>I won't say... But pretty much any term that talks about a "Lady Blossom" as food.</b></i></div>
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19 - Have you ever put anything up your <s>ass</s>?</div>
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<i><b>Just my broom stick.</b></i></div>
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20 - What can you do better than most?</div>
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<i><b>Mock Humility.</b></i></div>
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21 - Have you smoked pot?</div>
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<b>Nope.</b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i> </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"> </span></span></div>
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22 - Would you wrestle a member of the same sex, nude, in pudding for 10 minutes for one million dollars?</div>
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<i><b>DONE! And somebody better be recording.</b></i></div>
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23 - Happiest moment of your life?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>When I passed my College placement test in the 97th percentile was pretty awesome! </b></i></div>
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24 - Name in order, the body parts of the opposite sex you notice first.</div>
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<b>1. Smile</b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>2. Hair</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>3. Eyes</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>4. Hands</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>5. Butt</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">25 - What or where's the furthest you've been away from home?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>Keffalonia, Greece.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
26 - Have you ever been to Africa?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>LOL Um.... No.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
27 - Can you currently do a split?</div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>How about I try it naked.... And no one notices if I can't?</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
28 - What's better - a knee-jerk reaction or a polish knee slap?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I always fly by the seat of my pants....</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
29 - Ever given anyone a dutch oven?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I don't know what this is.... And judging by CB's reaction I am better off not knowing.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
30 - What's your favorite kind of apple?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Whatever is in a soft and warm apple pie.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
31 - Favorite Muppet?</div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>I always love MissPiggy!</b></i></span></div>
</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-style: italic; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">32 - Squash just doesn't sound very tasty. What say you?</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Squash is amazing! Especially BBQ'd.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
33 - How many sexual partners have you had?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I've never had sex.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
34 - Favorite number?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>7</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
35 - Favorite type of pet?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Oh hmm... I think, as Vet Tech.... It's unethical of me to choose just one.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
36 - Favorite sexual position?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Just go with whatever you're picturing right now.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
37 - Least favorite sexual position?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Whichever one isn't fun!</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
38 - Is it better to give or receive?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I prefer both.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
39 - When's the last time you vomited?</div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>A few days ago. I do it all the time.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
40 - Name one product you use that everyone ought to use.</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Chi-Silk. It makes your hair strong, shiny and healthy!</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
41 - What's worse - having your period or spraining your ankle?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Periods are gross.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
42 - What sport can you play well?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I'm a hot chick... So all of them. </b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
43 - What's the funniest thing you've heard/seen/done in the past week?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Rescuing feeder mice from school yesterday was funny!</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
44 - Are you interested in being friends with someone on death row?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Ick! NO!</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
45 - What's 4+3*800/3?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>See question 14 for the answer.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
46 - Who would make a better President - Sarah Palin or Cookie Monster?</div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><i><b>Neither... I can't stand either of their voices.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
47 - Have you ever done a snow angel in the nude?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>DUH! But it was on a dare.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
48 - Who's your favorite Golden Girl?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Blanche. Because I plan on being a slut when I am that old.</b></i></div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
49 - Have you ever taken a dump out a window?</div>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </b></i></div>
</span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><b>We don't discuss that! EVER!</b></i></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
50 - Favorite kind of ice cream?</div>
</span></span><div style="line-height: 20px; text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Mint Chocolate Chip. But only from Breyer<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">s.</span></b></span></i></div>
</center>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-90476024371478646382012-01-03T20:29:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:29:44.044-08:00The Royal Vet: Princess CB and her Flamingo. 1/9/11<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkEkForZYhy90TJ_7mmugEqoEgJFVUMRi05PJHt2ca5zaeX1Ws4ouODXWRf7FMetULJ9YQwW6Nhs3aTHzzes3GYDUkXwDfe3tGCqDSE0OEUjcxeNSxfymFg3v8G_M5p4EicY6Z0Hq1e1M/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkEkForZYhy90TJ_7mmugEqoEgJFVUMRi05PJHt2ca5zaeX1Ws4ouODXWRf7FMetULJ9YQwW6Nhs3aTHzzes3GYDUkXwDfe3tGCqDSE0OEUjcxeNSxfymFg3v8G_M5p4EicY6Z0Hq1e1M/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" /></a></div>
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Some of you might remember that right before our<a href="http://www.cigarettesandstilettos.com/"> Princess CB </a>ran off to places unknown. she requested a Flamingo and the Queen granted that request. </div>
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What I never shared with you is all CB's preperations for her Flamingo.</div>
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Why am I doing this now?</div>
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Well because CB has requested (For the umpteenth time) that I give her a list of how to take care of her flamingo. I print it out all the time!! I have taped it to her cell phone, taped it to her bottle of gin, put it in her makeup bag, and even glued it to her smokes. </div>
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But she keeps asking for it!</div>
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So I am going to post the pictures, and also her list here..... </div>
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I betcha she won't forget it now!</div>
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<a href="http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u202/seths_flame/flamingo-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u202/seths_flame/flamingo-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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When the request was accepted by <a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/">the Queen</a>, CB and the<a href="http://dutchessofdorkville.blogspot.com/"> Duchess </a>headed to Vegas.</div>
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Why you ask?</div>
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Apparently spending time at the Flamingo helps you prepare for owning a flamingo.</div>
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<a href="http://www.wedoitallvegas.com/images/stories/jreviews/22_Flamingo4_1279559601.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://www.wedoitallvegas.com/images/stories/jreviews/22_Flamingo4_1279559601.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I know... I didn't get it either. But whatever.</div>
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She did come home with all sorts of Flamingo-esque apparel.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmGaFJJmqvMQLurJeGHUI07YDTOJPZIzs011qHQ2TlPURtamrUKi2GcQAqiV5sJh5tAnVaLH_ut0ZgFWiSufh6Lqat9KMVhDJXPLeglCbEzwQzY3I2lPQ3utFF02SRgifkRxXrjl4q4NY/s400/flamingosFunny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmGaFJJmqvMQLurJeGHUI07YDTOJPZIzs011qHQ2TlPURtamrUKi2GcQAqiV5sJh5tAnVaLH_ut0ZgFWiSufh6Lqat9KMVhDJXPLeglCbEzwQzY3I2lPQ3utFF02SRgifkRxXrjl4q4NY/s320/flamingosFunny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She even hired these two clowns to walk around the Castle wearing them.</div>
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She felt it would help the Flamingo feel more at home.</div>
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<a href="http://img3.prosperent.com/images/250x250/img.costumecraze.com/images/vendors/eloper/A5513-Flamingo-Hat-main.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://img3.prosperent.com/images/250x250/img.costumecraze.com/images/vendors/eloper/A5513-Flamingo-Hat-main.jpg" /></a></div>
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I am hoping she just loved this color pink.</div>
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I am still unsure as to why she bought this purse.....</div>
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<a href="http://images.halloweencostumes.org/a_flamingo_purse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.halloweencostumes.org/a_flamingo_purse.jpg" width="170" /></a></div>
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It couldn't hold more than her phone and her eyebrow pencil!</div>
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She did come home with this SUPER cute Flamingo-Pink Car.</div>
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<a href="http://englishrussia.com/images/pink_mania/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://englishrussia.com/images/pink_mania/1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I wanted it SO SO SO Bad...</div>
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But to be nice I bought her this license plate cover for it:</div>
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<a href="http://images3.cpcache.com/product/there+goes+the-there+goes+that-plates/229271553v5_225x225_Front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images3.cpcache.com/product/there+goes+the-there+goes+that-plates/229271553v5_225x225_Front.jpg" /></a></div>
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And of course<a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/"> the Queen</a> gave it it's own parking spot:</div>
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<a href="http://leighsdecalsandsigns.com/images/parking_signs/MISC_96.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://leighsdecalsandsigns.com/images/parking_signs/MISC_96.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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The whole Castle got into the arrival of the Flamingo!</div>
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So we decided to throw CB </div>
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"Happy Flamingo Party"</div>
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(Yes it was just an excuse to drink....So?)</div>
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<a href="http://www.bizbash.com/content/editorial/StoryPhoto/big/e9132KEY1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.bizbash.com/content/editorial/StoryPhoto/big/e9132KEY1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/">Donda</a> got her this cute sign:</div>
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<a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/253/456280957_0586d0aa1a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/253/456280957_0586d0aa1a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The <a href="http://dutchessofdorkville.blogspot.com/">Duchess</a> got her a "Flamingo Drink Stirrer"</div>
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<a href="http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.51484943.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.51484943.jpg" width="319" /></a></div>
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We tried to explain that the cup was not a Martini Mixer with holes for pouring....</div>
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But ya... The Dutch didn't get it.</div>
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<a href="http://stompingcommonsense.blogspot.com/">The Queen</a> got her this magnet:</div>
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<a href="http://i1.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/250/draft_lens13101291module117670321photo_1283482798flamingo_treat_me_queen_m" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i1.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/250/draft_lens13101291module117670321photo_1283482798flamingo_treat_me_queen_m" /></a></div>
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But stated that it's only for the Flamingo!!!</div>
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I brought the cake:</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IqDr3d1py8M/THCJFpKwqNI/AAAAAAAAAyA/yytunlFNS_Y/s1600/Flamingo+smash+cake.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IqDr3d1py8M/THCJFpKwqNI/AAAAAAAAAyA/yytunlFNS_Y/s320/Flamingo+smash+cake.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://justjen68.blogspot.com/">Jen the Bartender</a> knew CB needed to be gently led to the idea that she would have to clean up after her flamingo so she brought her this:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7aw84zAZHWajeJl_ZmbvelhrRsQK79jWymcoSlru8CctnMxmlcjCX2aIGV_nqVCJYK00zXFTZRlgVM5rro93A9YChiXyLi__5uhBEFpVU1SGorOvn4gZRcqOaIiwEIe7mDwXNLJbYdiY/s1600/2318543060047025014DpVkZK_fs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7aw84zAZHWajeJl_ZmbvelhrRsQK79jWymcoSlru8CctnMxmlcjCX2aIGV_nqVCJYK00zXFTZRlgVM5rro93A9YChiXyLi__5uhBEFpVU1SGorOvn4gZRcqOaIiwEIe7mDwXNLJbYdiY/s320/2318543060047025014DpVkZK_fs.jpg" width="310" /></a></div>
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I'm still not sure we convinced her that Flamingo poop is not really pink....</div>
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<a href="http://randomnessthatsparkles.blogspot.com/">Jen the Makeup Artist</a>, as is her usual way, decided to go risqué:</div>
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3280/2666408268_b99eb627d7.jpg?v=0" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3280/2666408268_b99eb627d7.jpg?v=0" width="320" /></a></div>
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After all... When have you seen a Flamingo into Bondage?</div>
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That whip was real too.</div>
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<a href="http://pleaseweartiara.blogspot.com/">PWT</a> picked up this sign for the driveway:</div>
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<a href="http://www.thepinkflamingo.com/media/aspX033-Flamingo-big.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.thepinkflamingo.com/media/aspX033-Flamingo-big.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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After all... <a href="http://masksnomore.blogspot.com/">Ariana </a>doesn't need to kill the UPS guy for running over the Flamingo during his daily Gin drop off.</div>
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And <a href="http://www.mamastillwearsgucci.com/2011/01/because-i-said-so.html">Gucci</a> brought the flamingo it's first airplane outfit:</div>
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<a href="http://holloway.co.nz/book/15/flamingo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://holloway.co.nz/book/15/flamingo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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....You know...For when it's flying.</div>
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<a href="http://thismamashops.blogspot.com/">The Dame</a> decided to make it Royal Flamingo Week!</div>
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<a href="http://www.broadwaypalm.com/uploads/features/WEB%20TILE-Flamingo%20Ct.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.broadwaypalm.com/uploads/features/WEB%20TILE-Flamingo%20Ct.jpg" /></a></div>
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The Royal bratts put on a show:</div>
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<a href="http://www.thelittleredtruck.com/presskit/jpegs/14_FlamingoDance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://www.thelittleredtruck.com/presskit/jpegs/14_FlamingoDance.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And then the real entertainment began:</div>
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<a href="http://www.games-cologne.de/files/events/Fans_and_Friends/DC%20Pink%20Flamingo%202006_c_WonKee_Moon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://www.games-cologne.de/files/events/Fans_and_Friends/DC%20Pink%20Flamingo%202006_c_WonKee_Moon.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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What happened after that is locked in the Royal Vault. </div>
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But I am sure your imaginations can fill in the blanks.</div>
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Now for the rules of taking care of a flamingo!</div>
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1. No marrying the Flamingo.</div>
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<a href="http://www.freakingnews.com/Pictures/2/Flamingos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.freakingnews.com/Pictures/2/Flamingos.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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I mean sure... He won't whine when you burn dinner. </div>
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But do you know how hard it will be to get child support from a bird??</div>
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2. Keep the Flamingo away from gnomes.</div>
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<a href="http://infomavensdesktop.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/funny-pictures-the-lawn-gnomes-have-beaten-the-pink-flamingos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="http://infomavensdesktop.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/funny-pictures-the-lawn-gnomes-have-beaten-the-pink-flamingos.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's an all out war over garden decorations... And they have no mercy!!</div>
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3. Synchronized Flamingo Swimming is cool...</div>
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<a href="http://www.gearfuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/flamingo-flock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://www.gearfuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/flamingo-flock.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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But it's also animal abuse!</div>
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4. Your flamingo sleeps outside in water...</div>
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<a href="http://www.catsplay.com/pinkfeatherbed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.catsplay.com/pinkfeatherbed.jpg" /></a></div>
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So you should probly return this.^^^</div>
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5. Flamingo costumes are just tacky.</div>
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<a href="http://instylekids.yourstoreimages2.com/googleimages/kiflcofuanco.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://instylekids.yourstoreimages2.com/googleimages/kiflcofuanco.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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And I WILL NOT wear them while feeding the flamingo CB!!</div>
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STOP ASKING!</div>
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6. Keep an eye out for places like this....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEi5jPxwRO6yw_I2q2GcbaAGrdvTXg6c55gxCOHurrryuxrD2U06Zjy0UuDz1lCunvnyB3W-O-Kl_63zkYlmeXs5Hw1HOPknbKVqSB-aG4daBl8FuJBm-gdSdQIeCWycPrZkNKltrImls/s1600/2737622800093764229rIzhsi_fs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEi5jPxwRO6yw_I2q2GcbaAGrdvTXg6c55gxCOHurrryuxrD2U06Zjy0UuDz1lCunvnyB3W-O-Kl_63zkYlmeXs5Hw1HOPknbKVqSB-aG4daBl8FuJBm-gdSdQIeCWycPrZkNKltrImls/s320/2737622800093764229rIzhsi_fs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Their flamingo tastes gamey.</div>
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7. Remember If you use flamingo TP it might turn your Hooey pinker...</div>
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<a href="http://cheapflamingo.com/images/large/flamingo_bath_tissue_LRG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://cheapflamingo.com/images/large/flamingo_bath_tissue_LRG.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The whole castle thought they had an STD again.</div>
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8. Be aware of imitators!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLUsnyKYvHvtw8SgmHpa0pE3Rs9A1bfW12qyjLfn_01KXIx7rOswz62UI3eaX0oSbSQ9CbTQvuGPksseynP41J3RURf2LZCflcBNmwTwueu-W0D18cwfV5nmXtvEcUZ4chOR_RDGWznQ0/s800/funny-pictures-kfc-chicken-stilts-flamingos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLUsnyKYvHvtw8SgmHpa0pE3Rs9A1bfW12qyjLfn_01KXIx7rOswz62UI3eaX0oSbSQ9CbTQvuGPksseynP41J3RURf2LZCflcBNmwTwueu-W0D18cwfV5nmXtvEcUZ4chOR_RDGWznQ0/s320/funny-pictures-kfc-chicken-stilts-flamingos.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Your flamingo needs to keep it real ya'll.</div>
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No posers.</div>
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9. Flamingo's NEVER need plastic surgery</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkGl9maqIqXr21AZCxdlHuvH4TSCIQE780tR-Vh1IMbsKjQdN-48NZCOtuyy6GltFgLQPf-6AcBS_A0dJGEYwd3I1QcvxZXFR3tN95gfJm0s_8nfcjjZTGKZYJzNgWQEfF-lQjqb4MfU4/s1600/518642736NuElrT_ph.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkGl9maqIqXr21AZCxdlHuvH4TSCIQE780tR-Vh1IMbsKjQdN-48NZCOtuyy6GltFgLQPf-6AcBS_A0dJGEYwd3I1QcvxZXFR3tN95gfJm0s_8nfcjjZTGKZYJzNgWQEfF-lQjqb4MfU4/s320/518642736NuElrT_ph.jpg" width="224" /></a></div>
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Ever.</div>
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And last but not least....</div>
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10. It is now illegal in the state of Kansas to try to outdo the flamingo face with the platypus face, so deems the Queen.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCO5yzhyphenhyphenhq41-LTRXY6EZvlHtn9LeIn-Vubq_QhEpae3vcQyEbgJ55lT5ZG7iIrySRQAx4YHnyMHCKy7ShJTfGxsHiRnatnu32oaKav0WlA5QmEcEcwSzeL_gGv1osWMwR4ENCT-K6jbM/s1600/beiber.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCO5yzhyphenhyphenhq41-LTRXY6EZvlHtn9LeIn-Vubq_QhEpae3vcQyEbgJ55lT5ZG7iIrySRQAx4YHnyMHCKy7ShJTfGxsHiRnatnu32oaKav0WlA5QmEcEcwSzeL_gGv1osWMwR4ENCT-K6jbM/s400/beiber.png" width="292" /></a></div>
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This perp is currently undergoing a public flogging.</div>
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I think you're ready... In the Queen's own words...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0-cOSUG6FALW7jIBCgjrH2tO0e2kpt7s_uJwxLzV0OdaxBBkXTjmcW0FKkLrF7dfpTrqANsQ5-Nbdyv1qqC54Jrsgz8A_8aaVzZsKUGg-06zJL96VqSj_aiGp_ZMRk9ZQEZdHvnGcDms/s1600/flamingoq.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0-cOSUG6FALW7jIBCgjrH2tO0e2kpt7s_uJwxLzV0OdaxBBkXTjmcW0FKkLrF7dfpTrqANsQ5-Nbdyv1qqC54Jrsgz8A_8aaVzZsKUGg-06zJL96VqSj_aiGp_ZMRk9ZQEZdHvnGcDms/s400/flamingoq.png" width="147" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-31484852914187869102012-01-03T20:28:00.002-08:002012-01-03T20:28:57.472-08:00The Royal Vet: The Other Side of the Queen. 1/8/11<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkEkForZYhy90TJ_7mmugEqoEgJFVUMRi05PJHt2ca5zaeX1Ws4ouODXWRf7FMetULJ9YQwW6Nhs3aTHzzes3GYDUkXwDfe3tGCqDSE0OEUjcxeNSxfymFg3v8G_M5p4EicY6Z0Hq1e1M/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkEkForZYhy90TJ_7mmugEqoEgJFVUMRi05PJHt2ca5zaeX1Ws4ouODXWRf7FMetULJ9YQwW6Nhs3aTHzzes3GYDUkXwDfe3tGCqDSE0OEUjcxeNSxfymFg3v8G_M5p4EicY6Z0Hq1e1M/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
It's very rare that we share any personal info on the Queen herself. However it's Saturday and I am.... fairly certain... She won't be around here any time soon.<br />
Fairly certain....<br />
Any who... The Queen has her own <a href="http://randomnessthatsparkles.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-received-new-title.html">makeup artist</a> who keeps her looking surprisingly young and nubile for photo shoots and press conferences... But I am going to show you the side of the Queen that only those of us who live with her daily get to see.<br />
This isn't for the faint of heart.....<br />
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Most of the time you see The Queen looking like this:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggOLwVR_J3z9-xyc4u6UjFq4Uh1xv9GbGZdY4tcOMy7qAZ6ai1WYssOdegwocfeHzeCii17-3mvRnXCFsS0UyPnqlXnjuiZBPexJiD7hBGEiz3daq46eKKHNXI6BFk8RZhtxIoxisN5Lhe/s1600/s21+Little+Old+lady.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggOLwVR_J3z9-xyc4u6UjFq4Uh1xv9GbGZdY4tcOMy7qAZ6ai1WYssOdegwocfeHzeCii17-3mvRnXCFsS0UyPnqlXnjuiZBPexJiD7hBGEiz3daq46eKKHNXI6BFk8RZhtxIoxisN5Lhe/s320/s21+Little+Old+lady.jpg" width="249" /></a></div>
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Or like this:</div>
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<a href="http://www.thehotglove.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/old_lady11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="http://www.thehotglove.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/old_lady11.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Pretty typical Queen-Esque behavior. </div>
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However it's when she is drunk and pissed off that you need to be careful!</div>
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One time the Royal BarTender was out sick with a NASTY bout of the flue, The Queen was drunk <s>drank all of her gin</s> and lost her bottle of gin. She thought someone stole it!!</div>
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This is the picture the security feed caught of her tearing the cleaning lady a new one:</div>
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<a href="http://screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/dragmetohell09-3-12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/dragmetohell09-3-12.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Ya poor Gretta... We gave her a very lovely funeral though.</div>
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When The Royals held their road trip and they all came to visit me in California we had complaints over the Queen's swimsuit.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_C-TaY61-NYo/R_Zf0yFVQLI/AAAAAAAAAlI/oZ04T1A8rTg/s400/old+lady+in+bikini.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_C-TaY61-NYo/R_Zf0yFVQLI/AAAAAAAAAlI/oZ04T1A8rTg/s320/old+lady+in+bikini.jpg" width="241" /></a></div>
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But she was bound and determined to get a tan!!</div>
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Most people don't know the Queen sleep walks around the castle either:</div>
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<a href="http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0905/your-prayers-romanian-gypsy-sword-old-lady-mad-crazy-prayers-demotivational-poster-1243745719.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0905/your-prayers-romanian-gypsy-sword-old-lady-mad-crazy-prayers-demotivational-poster-1243745719.jpg" width="257" /></a></div>
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Maybe she was a samurai in another life?</div>
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All I know is there is a special beat down waiting for whomever gave her that dam sword.</div>
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One year, on her Queening Anniversary we decided to give her a gift!</div>
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<a href="http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/1/16/129081529226868381.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/1/16/129081529226868381.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She didn't find it as funny as we did though:</div>
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<a href="http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Rec/rec_movie_image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Rec/rec_movie_image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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That was a bad week for us.....</div>
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No one slept!</div>
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Sometimes the Queen gets it into her head to be an activist for Child Safety.</div>
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While we all applaud her effort....Her tactic leaves much to be desired.</div>
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She drives around neighborhoods in this van she had specially made:</div>
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<a href="http://www.kutsuki.org/posts/200610/20061012-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.kutsuki.org/posts/200610/20061012-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And then when a child gets in the van... They see her with no make up on:</div>
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<a href="http://cdn2.mixrmedia.com/wp-uploads/wirebot/blog/2010/07/gypsylady.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://cdn2.mixrmedia.com/wp-uploads/wirebot/blog/2010/07/gypsylady.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She believes it will teach them all not to get into vans with strangers... But we have had complaints from parents.</div>
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Of course we get complaints because she keeps trying to make the People of Walmart!!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBSQ61yQ4Ozprf9t-GA09bgeB96jvbtjzYShErCpF7K2smsbJGRQmUTE7u6OsTEaFjw2p36FDYbOyiBQrIXjjb8oVeHYC17ycSkLrKkcrzyDEkJOVasr9Wsspk2rEdGqxFDmloAnOrx58/s400/Fat+Woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBSQ61yQ4Ozprf9t-GA09bgeB96jvbtjzYShErCpF7K2smsbJGRQmUTE7u6OsTEaFjw2p36FDYbOyiBQrIXjjb8oVeHYC17ycSkLrKkcrzyDEkJOVasr9Wsspk2rEdGqxFDmloAnOrx58/s320/Fat+Woman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Oh Shut Up wimp!!!</div>
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This is the tamest picture I have.</div>
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But the scariest thing about the Queen... And I do mean the SCARIEST...</div>
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Is what happens when she gets mad.</div>
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Not just pissed, upset, or drunk.</div>
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Mad.</div>
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She gets eerily quiet, her eyes get kind of glazed over, sometimes she will even giggle to herself....</div>
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That night we will hear her... dancing naked in the yard around a bonfire, </div>
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chanting "I WILL CUT A BITCH!!"....</div>
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and covered in, What we hope is just, warrior paint. Wearing only an alligator head and a necklace of gator teeth.....</div>
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We all know the next day the papers will report a brutal killing.</div>
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I happen to have some pictures of her "Special Gear".</div>
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New Years day I woke up in a strange room in the castle I had never been to before. I wanted to get out before I got caught by the <a href="http://masksnomore.blogspot.com/?zx=105a58d08d7f98a6">Baddest Body Guard</a> we have and accused of something....</div>
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But as I was crawling around looking for a door I saw them:</div>
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Her Special Gator Helmet:</div>
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<a href="http://www.sharkking.com/files/alligator_head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.sharkking.com/files/alligator_head.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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and Her tooth necklace:</div>
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<a href="http://www.cherokeespirits.com/Real%20bear%20teeth%20necklace.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.cherokeespirits.com/Real%20bear%20teeth%20necklace.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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FREAKY!!!!!</div>
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Thankfully I made it out with only my corneas slightly burned.... I was able to snap a shot of her modeling in her bedroom alone... Something that I can only hope is a Halloween costume:</div>
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<a href="http://www.eatliver.com/img/2007/1989.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.eatliver.com/img/2007/1989.jpg" width="177" /></a></div>
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HeHeHe I have too much fun with my camera phone!</div>
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Last but not least... The Queen's pampered pooch and sleeping companion... When she can find her bed:</div>
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<a href="http://meaningfuldistractions.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/dog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://meaningfuldistractions.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/dog3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And there you have it folks. I couldn't make this crap up if I wanted too!</div>
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The Queen is not your average... well... Queen.</div>
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And that, of course, is why we love her!!</div>
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<a href="http://iam.colum.edu/sbarry/gray/group3/old_lady002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://iam.colum.edu/sbarry/gray/group3/old_lady002.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-53171019090085704342012-01-03T20:28:00.000-08:002012-01-03T20:28:24.640-08:00Royal Vet: Sad day in our beloved Kingdom. 1/3/11<br />
Today those of us loved by the Royal Family received a heartbreaking email from the Queen.<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"T<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">hought you would want to know that <a href="http://pleaseweartiara.blogspot.com/2010/12/there-might-be-quiz-so-pay-attention.html">Princess</a> was rushed by ambulance to the hospital last night. She lost the baby and they will not be able to have anymore children. It destroyed the tube she had left... this is a very sad day for all of us.."</span></span></i><br />
<br />
As I am sure you can imagine, we are all grieving for our dear princess and the heartbreak she is going through right now. I know what she is dealing with and, along with many other emotions, it's a shock to the system. It's devastating.<br />
Not just as a Royal Employee, but as a fellow blogger, please go to PWT's blog and send her your love and well wishes. Even if you have never read her blog, or spoken to her before, please go and just let her know she was in your thoughts today.<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://pleaseweartiara.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="PTW" src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/PWT/gr4.gif" width="150" /></a></div>
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Princess PWT... I love you babe.</div>
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And I am only a phone call away.<br />
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</div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-75848895403218665992012-01-03T20:27:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:27:33.687-08:00The Royal Vet: Gun Shopping, Google Bras and the search for a body guard! 12/28/10<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkEkForZYhy90TJ_7mmugEqoEgJFVUMRi05PJHt2ca5zaeX1Ws4ouODXWRf7FMetULJ9YQwW6Nhs3aTHzzes3GYDUkXwDfe3tGCqDSE0OEUjcxeNSxfymFg3v8G_M5p4EicY6Z0Hq1e1M/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkEkForZYhy90TJ_7mmugEqoEgJFVUMRi05PJHt2ca5zaeX1Ws4ouODXWRf7FMetULJ9YQwW6Nhs3aTHzzes3GYDUkXwDfe3tGCqDSE0OEUjcxeNSxfymFg3v8G_M5p4EicY6Z0Hq1e1M/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" /></a></div>
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So as you all know I have been looking for a body guard. </div>
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I do need one.</div>
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The Gator's are really our first line of defense. </div>
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Wanna take out a gator?</div>
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Take out their personal vet!</div>
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So I decided I should start carrying a gun.</div>
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Plus guns are cool. </div>
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Duh.</div>
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I have been shooting since I was 9 and I rarely miss.</div>
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So why not?</div>
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Plus I could get something cute.......</div>
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And really, a cute gun is what I would need.</div>
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Because more than likely I will shoot someone. (Again)</div>
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And I need the judge to look at the cute little blonde girl, and see her cute little, possibly pink, gun and then look at the dumb schmeckle she shot and tell him to man up, he got shot by a girl with a possibly pink gun, he should run and hide in shame, not sue her.</div>
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Ahem... It could happen.</div>
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Don't make me shoot someone just to prove it to you.</div>
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Anywho....</div>
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I have this perfect image in my head of me in an evening gown pulling my adorable little gun out of a clutch and looking like a real BAMF. But since I never get to dress up... I need a holster.</div>
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And of course only a bra holster will do.</div>
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So I decided to Google image it and see what I found.</div>
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Which I of course now have to share with you!</div>
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ENJOY:</div>
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First up is The Bacon Bra. I am assuming it's inspired by Lady GaGa.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheML9iXaO9Hi4f5FfqROm9sCudAHaZcOSSoe00y8WqDpL9pNj3j1b1kJ-40yXE-Dw_ho42b2_OdRxrWZuembVthQcJ3W6XJB9nvEADF4gxwZCH4tfjkXia4AWZj2i3t_j8Sked5p6Km8E/s1600/bacon+bra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheML9iXaO9Hi4f5FfqROm9sCudAHaZcOSSoe00y8WqDpL9pNj3j1b1kJ-40yXE-Dw_ho42b2_OdRxrWZuembVthQcJ3W6XJB9nvEADF4gxwZCH4tfjkXia4AWZj2i3t_j8Sked5p6Km8E/s320/bacon+bra.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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How this comes up when I am looking for a bra holster I can't even begin to fathom.</div>
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But there it is. My first thought is that she put all that effort into the bra, but couldn't be bothered to properly groom her underarms.</div>
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Blechy!</div>
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Secondly we have the Boar's head bra.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVUydkgrZ8mCJX7NKacBuww-GbxjLBmYWI3bKN62Swsn0wtnzSULwCuFZrUG7-OsHVwfr0hJQEn0YkqAhQFNrISHp5cxYvNGVorOp8p41p6ltOTQ-Bhed68j2dhFZqd2CDxHlkjCaspkA/s1600/bra9bvc7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVUydkgrZ8mCJX7NKacBuww-GbxjLBmYWI3bKN62Swsn0wtnzSULwCuFZrUG7-OsHVwfr0hJQEn0YkqAhQFNrISHp5cxYvNGVorOp8p41p6ltOTQ-Bhed68j2dhFZqd2CDxHlkjCaspkA/s320/bra9bvc7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Ok seriously... WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?</div>
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If your husband brings it home you eat it NOT WEAR IT!</div>
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Especially not on your tatters. </div>
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Any man who thinks that's hot needs to be stuffed and mounted.</div>
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And not in a good way.</div>
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Thirdly is the BACK BRA NEEDED.</div>
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How this makes the Bra Holster search I can't figure out.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5_4NfV6-CypKj4R3gCtF14EyE7wkFGnudA6zd2ivo5IPKUtUFGo_saaJn8nK9F1UJRaaNpIfIU4qQKuho9m8USJtnBAyTU7q11h8cswzPiKXyXCpLQ2rwYMoPj0ff1Xtg_zUyhqHlpnA/s1600/caption1119_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5_4NfV6-CypKj4R3gCtF14EyE7wkFGnudA6zd2ivo5IPKUtUFGo_saaJn8nK9F1UJRaaNpIfIU4qQKuho9m8USJtnBAyTU7q11h8cswzPiKXyXCpLQ2rwYMoPj0ff1Xtg_zUyhqHlpnA/s320/caption1119_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I have left the house in my PJ's, no makeup and hair in a pony tail to go to Walmart. </div>
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I admit it.</div>
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HOWEVER.... Well there just aren't words... Because I would never go out in anything remotely close to that.</div>
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Now we can't forget that crab bra.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDU5kMmAkQIy9EdH5mlnbSAbe0Ls9beNIeZ6IU_HUrLBmcnZOHbfaRC_Mg1ZIxBvmfNKJaJk6Hq6veDSuLWK0y2X_nIYKxhiBbe2zizi4nZsNwxwrnbq8jOGv3UR64qVKB5_OvsG1TCSQ/s1600/bra1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDU5kMmAkQIy9EdH5mlnbSAbe0Ls9beNIeZ6IU_HUrLBmcnZOHbfaRC_Mg1ZIxBvmfNKJaJk6Hq6veDSuLWK0y2X_nIYKxhiBbe2zizi4nZsNwxwrnbq8jOGv3UR64qVKB5_OvsG1TCSQ/s320/bra1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Honestly... It does look a little bad ass. </div>
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Wonder if it comes in a DD?</div>
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The real life bra.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA2ANjBFHt_N3R6Aa4U9PqXh-z9t5rQPmOHfe12YH7h84w2VWtvlkhUk3l_9UMd5VNmp7NHErxky12QGrazvIRt8rOsXQ9anl7BcgIWryvocz5aV1RQzHJ6xkD2xpRt-kJTxpJqmLZskA/s1600/bra4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA2ANjBFHt_N3R6Aa4U9PqXh-z9t5rQPmOHfe12YH7h84w2VWtvlkhUk3l_9UMd5VNmp7NHErxky12QGrazvIRt8rOsXQ9anl7BcgIWryvocz5aV1RQzHJ6xkD2xpRt-kJTxpJqmLZskA/s320/bra4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Ok really now... What is the point of this?</div>
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I'll just go without a bra if you're gonna see it all anyways!!</div>
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Plus I think my boobs are hotter than those ones.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The Hand Bra.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJQ68FPgUaUt6EYi46nzj9HHfB3yVfKkSB9onYQiUF-4kPSK81WqJ_LbSEViO764vDK5pVX1KGQky9l3IEPtsETIbOeFxn6v44V2VKVSguQIFXIxKUljTuR6uTkjzzCSQiPBP6dLnLsDM/s1600/HandsBra1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJQ68FPgUaUt6EYi46nzj9HHfB3yVfKkSB9onYQiUF-4kPSK81WqJ_LbSEViO764vDK5pVX1KGQky9l3IEPtsETIbOeFxn6v44V2VKVSguQIFXIxKUljTuR6uTkjzzCSQiPBP6dLnLsDM/s320/HandsBra1.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
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Now I actually think this is a pretty good idea.</div>
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My boobs always look great when I hold them up! </div>
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So Victoria... Get your rear in gear on that one!</div>
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<br /></div>
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The Tattoo Bra.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT9me1nI35-7NO3tOxnwCeMyvPSZsWArzJvKWmpww-d5tk8Y_ZB2TG7okLjdcLJ7Dxlsns9BfbTDVXGl801BWmiXIYXLZ-hbAO1_MdAGJ3nyuotK506gTH8-MGbxGF_RAWQcrGCx8Jxog/s1600/tattoo_bra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT9me1nI35-7NO3tOxnwCeMyvPSZsWArzJvKWmpww-d5tk8Y_ZB2TG7okLjdcLJ7Dxlsns9BfbTDVXGl801BWmiXIYXLZ-hbAO1_MdAGJ3nyuotK506gTH8-MGbxGF_RAWQcrGCx8Jxog/s320/tattoo_bra.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The first thought that came to mind was </div>
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OUCH!</div>
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Secondly.... </div>
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Man she has some Itty Bitty Titties.</div>
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I'd probly tattoo mine if they were non existent too.</div>
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Gotta have something to look at right?</div>
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Thirdly...</div>
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Where in hades are her nipples!?!</div>
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<br /></div>
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The Terminator Bra.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1mddvwSwd7KB0jUXkBcq47_D0LVbJKwBFwjOLD6UbBu8LvJ243Z8AerD7X2T9ruvLSYWUEKORqFQkZTHFWBKouC2yBHZoSr5n5Xbh71o6JRFXmntaNy4FrBb0LzwSoqc2EZEKI7xSJs/s1600/terminator-bra-terminator-bra-demotivational-poster-1266008417.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1mddvwSwd7KB0jUXkBcq47_D0LVbJKwBFwjOLD6UbBu8LvJ243Z8AerD7X2T9ruvLSYWUEKORqFQkZTHFWBKouC2yBHZoSr5n5Xbh71o6JRFXmntaNy4FrBb0LzwSoqc2EZEKI7xSJs/s320/terminator-bra-terminator-bra-demotivational-poster-1266008417.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's another take on the Hand Bra... But I think it might be bullet proof.</div>
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Which might mean gator proof too!</div>
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So if it has a gun holster, I'll take it!</div>
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<br /></div>
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At some point I was afraid of blindness from google bra images..... So I moved back to guns.</div>
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I really <s>want</s> NEED a lady's revolver. </div>
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Which got me this picture:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXiyUadXCGoRFHFKKMuo7DnK1jB3GTFSe2Hctv5Ljf3vBIAMTgMHYKkQ7JcgJHs0TDML9YMRo6sQEihMFOUz_b4QINnhuNmR2ZE_9LDhy36b6BTBTkn_l6_MS6K34uQl-m3T5IfEiaIsk/s1600/ladies_weapons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXiyUadXCGoRFHFKKMuo7DnK1jB3GTFSe2Hctv5Ljf3vBIAMTgMHYKkQ7JcgJHs0TDML9YMRo6sQEihMFOUz_b4QINnhuNmR2ZE_9LDhy36b6BTBTkn_l6_MS6K34uQl-m3T5IfEiaIsk/s320/ladies_weapons.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The turquoise and Cheetah print Gun is F-ing amaze-balls!</div>
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LOVE IT!</div>
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It's not real though.</div>
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Ya.</div>
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Apparently it's to make us feel safe, while not giving us any safety.</div>
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But I kinda think it holds booze so it's all good in my book.</div>
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Along with the blinged out grenade.</div>
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<br /></div>
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This Revolver is gorgeous. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEy1ewKQwiERqi6V7czhgeHhOtay2qPVRvA-5rieljx2-79GynpLrfsslU-t5JXdstqZzgrpXbUow25cz8B3bfvNjeR-Lhbf2IAGt9HQDSyfF_MH9uhjyi_pPX-3qhpCcxxNjlzTmBDVo/s1600/revolver-psd20851.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEy1ewKQwiERqi6V7czhgeHhOtay2qPVRvA-5rieljx2-79GynpLrfsslU-t5JXdstqZzgrpXbUow25cz8B3bfvNjeR-Lhbf2IAGt9HQDSyfF_MH9uhjyi_pPX-3qhpCcxxNjlzTmBDVo/s320/revolver-psd20851.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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And I do think it would be quite happy snuggled up under my boobs.</div>
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Now this... Well This is just pretty!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-q21275_eDXy6HcbRALpDTaN40H26eLwZrju96NqASQ4GwMMhvodQPvhgFsD35gbeEchYn-kis9A3ZZHbR_2lIAe3ErGb0aTjdtaXH7kV840X7KCrtcHqh16v4bs1NfoYqbGwrAL9Yxw/s1600/DBF6D945.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-q21275_eDXy6HcbRALpDTaN40H26eLwZrju96NqASQ4GwMMhvodQPvhgFsD35gbeEchYn-kis9A3ZZHbR_2lIAe3ErGb0aTjdtaXH7kV840X7KCrtcHqh16v4bs1NfoYqbGwrAL9Yxw/s1600/DBF6D945.jpg" /></a></div>
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It's also a blow dryer.</div>
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No... I am not kidding.</div>
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<a href="http://www.bathroomgraffiti.com/Accueil/">http://www.bathroomgraffiti.com/Accueil/</a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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I did finally find a very pretty little Pistol that I think would look great on me...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxkp4nBals3HxPq-O_Yw4tmJ9qrxc7ubmLtP35BoVyI2h7YPRM3_490cn54MjQrwROVG6x6qIcS_QcdXJ_rrboNJ_m7A4QHHS0CI3Ad6fHVEzskaYNE0y-n_IrpwzTTHpmqXRIVzWEmvU/s1600/940SSPRL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxkp4nBals3HxPq-O_Yw4tmJ9qrxc7ubmLtP35BoVyI2h7YPRM3_490cn54MjQrwROVG6x6qIcS_QcdXJ_rrboNJ_m7A4QHHS0CI3Ad6fHVEzskaYNE0y-n_IrpwzTTHpmqXRIVzWEmvU/s320/940SSPRL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.taurususa.com/product-details.cfm?id=365&category=Pistol&toggle=&breadcrumbseries=">It's a 40 caliber, medium frame Taurus</a>. It's small, it's light, it has a gold finish with mother of pearl grips,</div>
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and it's also 700 bucks.</div>
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So I am pretty sure Seth will tell me to buy pepper spray.</div>
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And The Queen doesn't have enough underwear to auction off to pay for that.</div>
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So the search for my body guard continues!</div>
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Want to be my bodyguard?</div>
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Get the details here:</div>
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<a href="http://lunaticwhimsy.blogspot.com/2010/12/would-you-like-to-be-my-body-guard.html">Would You Like To Be My Body Guard?</a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-76993065953877688862012-01-03T20:26:00.002-08:002012-01-03T20:26:47.684-08:00Would you like to be my Body Guard? 12/9/10<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQO0HFU84zMdBfXHP2B_jl0ZVrE5UEzJi52ZmoKo1jZ-ViQGOt5IymYNQW1-FqSs3AjRuIu2tjRpc3X9u3gCB85ZKblRlIWjn95KjQbxT2q-8W_cvGQcbysW8SAHdZ0skDAxmYZIg8wc/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQO0HFU84zMdBfXHP2B_jl0ZVrE5UEzJi52ZmoKo1jZ-ViQGOt5IymYNQW1-FqSs3AjRuIu2tjRpc3X9u3gCB85ZKblRlIWjn95KjQbxT2q-8W_cvGQcbysW8SAHdZ0skDAxmYZIg8wc/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The Queen has made a royal decree:<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i>I will put it in the budget that you can have a body guard. We have allowed my left sock to be auctioned off, so I guess we can auction the right one off to furnish you with a body guard. Please Ask Auntie Dutchess to help you arrange this..</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i><b>So deems the Queen!</b></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i>ps.. you have to figure out who you want.. and make all the arrangements for their badge... I am overloaded this week..</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><i> </i></span><br />
<br />
And the Duchess, in her eloquent way, seconded the motion!<br />
So now I am on the lookout for my own personal body guard!<br />
If you are interested.... Please look over the Job Qualifications below:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>1. You must know who the Royal Family is. </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>(If you read them all then that puts you at the top of the list!)</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>2. You must find me irresistible!!</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>3. You can be Man or Woman.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4. You job hours never end, and the pay is bad. </b></div>
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<b>HOWEVER we will keep you full of booze and xanax to make up for it.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>5. You must keep me safe at all times.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>OBVIOUSLY.... You need to be willing to </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>a) fight for me </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>b)Pull me out of a fight when I start getting my butt kicked. </b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>6. You cannot protect me from other Royals. We handle that ourselves!</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>7. You are not expected to protect me from the Gators.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> If I can't keep myself safe then I'll be eaten and replaced! It's in my Royal Contract.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>8. You must blog, at least 3 times per month, about your adventures protecting me. </b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>9. You cannot already be a Royal employee. (Or a Royal... But that goes without saying.)</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>10. If we are given a Royal decree (IE going on a Royal Road Trip) or are given a Royal Call to Arms you are required to attend/blog about it.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Pretty easy! So the line starts here! I would love it if you would write a blog post explaining why you feel you would be great for the job, and then posting the link in my comments below! I will pick my body guard in a few weeks!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Love you all!</div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-75366155435563740432012-01-03T20:26:00.000-08:002012-01-03T20:26:11.634-08:00The Royal Vet... Needs security??? 12/7/10<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWvx0TaPszDp1bWS5LIpCAMsPe_C9HTZ1m9W9-Zseli-N05mg61dBGOrky5_kL-nij84xcrSFX4SLh5qCruZa15J0MnDkguNnMEsmDcQGx96g94NzQDnNySXQAqKYxIDlbaCsvFr-uM5w/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWvx0TaPszDp1bWS5LIpCAMsPe_C9HTZ1m9W9-Zseli-N05mg61dBGOrky5_kL-nij84xcrSFX4SLh5qCruZa15J0MnDkguNnMEsmDcQGx96g94NzQDnNySXQAqKYxIDlbaCsvFr-uM5w/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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Now you all know me,</div>
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I am not a ROYAL. I am a <b>Royal employee.</b> </div>
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However that doesn't mean that I don't deal with a bit of hassling due to my close proximity to the royals.</div>
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Yesterday I had to deal with some harassment from a fellow classmate.</div>
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Apparently he is too smart for our class.</div>
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He doesn't take notes, doesn't bother showing up for tests, or turning in homework, and he leaves class 3 or 4 times a day to do God knows what.</div>
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But apparently he has an issue with anyone who does not fit what he feels, is an acceptable weight limit. </div>
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Now I am not a thin person anymore. I can freely admit it. However I am not an xlarge person either.</div>
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Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, understand that I have a Endochrine Disease that makes it hard for me to lose weight. Obviously this guy doesn't get that we are not all shoving McDees and sitting on our couch all day long. But I digress...</div>
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Yesterday I overheard him, more than once, making fat jokes. Some directed at me, some directed at my classmates. (He mooed once.) He would also make comments when a fellow classmate would raise their hand and ask a question. </div>
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One time he whispered to his fellow seat mate:</div>
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<i>Why don't you just F***ing pay attention instead of wasting my time asking her questions?</i></div>
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I couldn't hold it in anymore so I said:</div>
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<i>Maybe if you would stop talking the rest of us could hear Dr. G. and not have to ask questions.</i></div>
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He replied with:</div>
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<i>When I can see around you, I'll care about your oppinion. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Now I know some of you (Like Nikki and Ange) are thinking.... You didn't kill him? You don't need a place to hide the body right now?</div>
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It took a lot to not go off and throw him through a wall... Let me tell ya!</div>
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But I paid 30 grand for this class... I can't get kicked out!</div>
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Plus if I can't graduate then I can't work for the Royals as the Vet. </div>
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I'd have to be the royal laundry woman... And I don't want to scrub the dame's crotchless panties. </div>
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~Shivers!~</div>
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So I took the issue to my teacher to handle.</div>
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And she did.</div>
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And she did it in such a way to not put any more focus on me.</div>
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However I am wary that this attack was not done to get a reaction out of me as a Royal Employee, or out of the Royal Family.... Let's face it,... All of the Royals do love me!</div>
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&lt;3</div>
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<br /></div>
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Not only that, I have had my Facebook and my email hacked. </div>
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Now why would we email any Royal secrets???</div>
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Seriously.... If you can't remember what happens when you're drunk then you don't get to know.</div>
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All of these things combined make me wonder if I should have my own security guard.</div>
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I honestly feel this is all due to my Royal Status.</div>
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So this is my petition to the Queen... To consider granting me a Bodyguard.</div>
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BTW if I get one.. You will be required to carry my backpack. </div>
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I already carry around about 40 pounds worth of boob... I don't need another 40 pounds of books on top of that!</div>
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<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-11034778220262277762012-01-03T20:25:00.000-08:002012-01-03T20:25:01.107-08:00Royal's Road Trip- CALIFORNIA!!! 11/19/10<br />
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Sorry I haven't been keeping you all as updated as I had hoped. Since it's hard to take all the animals with us on the road, and this is my first week of college, the Queen let me off the hook some.<br />
To make up for it I will tell you all about the highlight of the trip!!!<br />
Me showing the Royals around California!<br />
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The Bratt brought the family along:<br />
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They have been awesome for cooking and cleaning up after us!!<br />
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Dutchess had a name changing crisis during a particularly potent smoke and decided to go all out and get the full California make over. You can view the before and after pictures below:<br />
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The Queen said the boobs are a tax write off.<br />
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The Queen really wanted to see some celebrities and got more than what she bargained for:<br />
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Of course when you are celebrity watching you are bound to see some botched plastic surgery jobs,<br />
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which scared the silicone out of the Dutchess. So we had to take her back and get it all undone.<br />
The girls would not leave me alone about meeting the Governator. (I might have name dropped in my royal vet resume) Thankfully they were particularly toasted one day and this tranny was nice enough to help me out!<br />
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Now I am sure you have all heard about Dear Willie going back to jail..... Well I am not EXACTLY sure on the details...And due to my gag order by the queen I am not allowed to say much... All I can allude to is Dutchess in California, Willie arrested for pot... Coincidence....I think not.<br />
All we can really do is speculate... However this picture was from that night... And I am glad cause I thought I was hallucinating the bunnies and the Oompa Loompas.<br />
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Of course to get the best California experience you have to hit up the beach!<br />
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Next stop is to take the Dame to the Salon for a wax however!!</div>
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No worries....I made sure to impress upon them all how important sun screen is:<br />
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Seem like the driver of the booze bus may have gotten a little TOO into the beach<br />
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Despite all my warnings the princess refused to drink any water and the hooker got heat sick:<br />
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Last but not least I made sure they went to Disney Land while they were here:<br />
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Dutchess had a great time!<br />
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All in all everyone enjoyed themselves. I think it was the highlight of the trip!<br />
No one wanted to go home... Not even ToTo.<br />
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<a href="http://ihasahotdog.wordpress.com/files/2009/03/funny-dog-pictures-not-kansas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://ihasahotdog.wordpress.com/files/2009/03/funny-dog-pictures-not-kansas.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-64055656557820087882012-01-03T20:23:00.002-08:002012-01-03T20:23:59.728-08:00The Royal Vet is on a Road trip. 11/19/10<br />
I was summoned to the castle by first <a href="http://thequeenofwtf.blogspot.com/2010/11/big-road-tour-for-royals-and-staff.html?showComment=1290234646411_AIe9_BGGJKAl6NhifX7rSWsO5qlE9PMiZEE6y2Oeebb3Wq8Q2vBdc-60MAZmxxQeRXwa0NcM9Yvd5sWT-l7vEktZ1HNwc1303R4mHucmjy67NGQC4GvVVVKJNo25XHeCKsLjo64kZWfvKOaaNLLZYPfTPd602A9GqwobS4m_AeTJ2Rw15Xhxvn4qQqgezaDJNlyzBhccR7GTjRkj3a-qViMBMSOxDKqpxq9huwe7FCha9Zhb7ojUOyATWCZLONK85m0vpV-fFQIbrIS5dKzSU-KFToJpqs59XLQmNJCyzZfMjMcnFng93yZzs9Tz0qivuuHWeh8eOPhA2HAYSi_ioXBothiRtpUTfwVyef988Fp_NtodbAZJ3p7pfkiJWm3LCdypsBoXAm_2bDTwL49wGHee0a05V9eTGWRV-9TT7r3Q0D29btM5JbyY4nPWWDtsOOTNrJopdxeBTIJIDVxRXlj61rMFuxT17w_ALhkzJ_U2L8_mD3g2MDAbLvRKMF5gyj1fhAkLLnQaI5HZctc6iS7OcwCKYym37ozk9e6ChNfvojBfhT6c1XetubEsIw6U5EOD7NoA6Eutw4H-ULg_1G2LjNURvqgStn2RahpvjQS8PkuwypI-LqBCL3bQ-o2tUdWRd7S54wXSGsKkwUDYidJfQGudhoHD41NpqyLMizIzoiKr4vE20unq3vmsfEEuJXhISW2I7F9vg2nJQlwR2cPqnXQzJvPd1z9a3aHL9xrXdiltxi8bf1eq3u7YeSO3WSVj7kBEufpJshBKniFXHSWsyp4-bvLUhzB9FCG1HTYEEaoYza82IEo#c8269125026924946485">The Queen</a> and then The Duchess to let me know we were going on a road trip.<br />
I told them of course I couldn't go....Who would take care of the animals?<br />
They said bring them along! Of course I laughed.... Until I realized they were all baked. So I have been Vet-ing on the road. At least the monkeys were happy.<br />
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I swear to beelzebub that when PETA hears about this I am going to steal some of The Duchess's "happy smokes" and let them deal with the crap storm.<br />
The gators have their own bus though:<br />
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I was so pissed to see we were taking buses. SERIOUSLY!?! More buses...fan-freaking-tastic. But The Queen planned ahead for me:<br />
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A poolbus and a cute guy.... And knowing her....The pool is filled with gin!<br />
NO PEEIN IN MY POOL/BUS!!!<br />
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I saw the Princess slappin bumper stickers on the buses and giggling like a drunk idiot so I decided to put up my own sticker! It's my cardinal rule for road trips:<br />
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And seriously...who isn't going to listen to that? I'll just sick the gators on them.<br />
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I took a look at the map to see where we were headed, There was a huge red circle around this town:<br />
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Apparently it's illegal to make fun of certain city's names.... The Queen thought we'd be fine since we had a cop with us...Thankfully we had bail money, Although we are permanently banned from the town. Don't ask why....It's an epic fail.<br />
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Donda has been so out of it recently, we all hoped this trip would jolt her out of her funk. Apparently she got too funked last night however, because this is how we found her this morning:<br />
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Then, because Donda was out of commision, I had to help keep and eye on the Dutch... Who tried to run off 4 times to marry who she thought was Willie Nelson:<br />
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The hooker bit me!! Thankfully I was up on my rabies vaccine, but still...She got all foamy at the mouth and even growled a few times. I was scared!!! But "Willie" got away safe....This time.<br />
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When The Queen told The Green Eyed Bratt about the road trip she showed up in her SUV:<br />
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We told her we were taking busses and she sighed in relief. She said she didn't know how all her family would fit in her SUV. We all laughed... Not knowing what she was talking about.<br />
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Oh right...She's Mexican. It took awhile to explain, and translate, that this was a ROYALS ONLY road trip. Until one of them offered to make us burritos...And sneak us into their country for the good weed....Then of course they all had to come along!!<br />
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Oh and just to clear up that nasty tabloid story that aired...<br />
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We know it looks bad to have the kids bus parked at a strip club. BUT COME ON!!! Gas was $1.09!!!!<br />
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Oh and if you see one of these signs after we have left your town:<br />
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That would be the Dame...She has a sick sense of humor!<br />MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-84516339637149769232012-01-03T20:23:00.000-08:002012-01-03T20:23:14.852-08:00The Royal Vet. 11/12/10<br />
It's been a few weeks since I have talked about my most important job as the royal vet!<br />
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Since I have been so preoccupied with my family I have just done the bare minimum in taking care of the Gator's. I thought the Queen was just being kind in not yelling at me for it.</div>
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But apparently she has been dealing with her own issues and didn't notice me slacking off.</div>
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Any who,<br />
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Gators can be like children, in that they pick up on the emotions going on around them.</div>
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If I had pulled my head out of my butt long enough to notice what dear Queenie was dealing with I would not have been so alarmed by the Gator community this week.</div>
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I got to work one day to find this sign:</div>
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<a href="http://www.lolcaption.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/lolcaption-funny-sign-wheelchair-alligator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://www.lolcaption.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/lolcaption-funny-sign-wheelchair-alligator.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Apparently this has something to do with the infamous <a href="http://thequeenofwtf.blogspot.com/2010/11/message-from-rhea-ya-gotta-love-drunken.html">Rhea </a>who has been harassing the Queen.<br />
Rhea I would take this as a personal threat from the Gator's....They don't just look mean!<br />
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However with all of this "SHE IS SLEEPING WITH MY HUSBAND DRAMA" floating around the castle the Gator's had a break down of their own.<br />
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<a href="http://www.animals-zone.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/white-alligator-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.animals-zone.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/white-alligator-1.jpg" width="282" /></a></div>
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The Queen's Knight thought his mate was cheating on him, when their baby was born and the baby looked nothing like the Knight. We had to fly in an expert to explain to the Knight that it's the female who carries the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">leucistic </span>gene....Making more white Knights!! I seriously thought we were gonna have to fly in Maury. Of course though...He still made us do a DNA test....Results pending.<br />
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We also had a Gator tormenting the local turtle population.<br />
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<a href="http://icanhascheezburger.wordpress.com/files/2008/11/funny-pictures-turtles-run-into-an-alligator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="http://icanhascheezburger.wordpress.com/files/2008/11/funny-pictures-turtles-run-into-an-alligator.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Have you ever tried to treat a turtle for PTSD?!?!</div>
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NOT COOL!</div>
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The worst WORST worst thing that could have happened did!</div>
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<a href="http://dutchessofdorkville.blogspot.com/">The Duchess was in Vegas</a> and when she came back she fell into what she thought was her bathtub.....</div>
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Turned out to be one of the hot spring lagoons. </div>
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She got plastered on wine and xanax, as per usual, but forgot to take the booze and pills with her when she left.</div>
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Gator's fave part of Sundays!!</div>
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So they decided to help themselves.</div>
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In their drunken stupor they convinced one of the younger gator's he was gay and that he needed to have cosmetic surgery to look attractive to other males.....</div>
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<a href="http://shoutaboutcarolina.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/bob-alligator-with-no-tail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://shoutaboutcarolina.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/bob-alligator-with-no-tail.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Ya.....I'm hoping not to be fired when the Queen sees this.</div>
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But for some good news...Beyonce was here this week doing a photo shoot!</div>
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(With CB gone we had to bring in some extra income!!</div>
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I'm always thinking ahead)</div>
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<a href="http://ll-media.tmz.com/2006/08/29/beyonce_alligators_0829_400-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="http://ll-media.tmz.com/2006/08/29/beyonce_alligators_0829_400-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.greeneyedbrat.com/">The Green Eyed Brat </a> Has been successful in protecting the Queen this week.</div>
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The Gator's have asked her to send a special message to Rhea for them:</div>
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<a href="http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/1001/manners-funny-manners-gator-gross-demotivational-poster-1262553908.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="282" src="http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/1001/manners-funny-manners-gator-gross-demotivational-poster-1262553908.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Don't go pointing fingers at the Queen Rhea...Or you will lose more than a hand!</div>
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<a href="http://justjen68.blogspot.com/2010/11/come-meet-royal-vet-guest-post.html">The Royal Bartender</a> thought it would be funny to get me plowed on AMF's one night and then leave me in the bathroom once I had passed out...where she had installed this:</div>
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<a href="http://rogergastman.com/wp-content/uploads/db2339-gator-toilet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://rogergastman.com/wp-content/uploads/db2339-gator-toilet.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>
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I really owe that hooker some pay back.</div>
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Donda has been missing in action recently.</div>
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She said she had a class reunion to attend to but then these photos started circling:</div>
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<a href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1229/1468864689_ef7c0c6686.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1229/1468864689_ef7c0c6686.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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and</div>
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<a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs276.snc4/40124_1536579132024_1161218063_31328110_2060754_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs276.snc4/40124_1536579132024_1161218063_31328110_2060754_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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We will be dredging the moat this week.</div>
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That's all for this edition of updates from the Royal Vet!<br />
Stay tuned.<br />MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-75010119046081117562012-01-03T20:22:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:22:14.266-08:00~tap tap tap~ Is this thing on? 11/3/10<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxRjwXspXCofRPpWGXXgBJ3Ub2fFEhyphenhyphenJ9Wg2MNedWcB5EojvdTzrE-emDtSYzZUKKtvzkYde7re7H8Sq4kvYwv0wxSM3s7qPfJShxrs4mm9qK5FEQQ9dMVcdTzK_tJiDmdF2BhDGRCzw/s1600-r/zzvzzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxRjwXspXCofRPpWGXXgBJ3Ub2fFEhyphenhyphenJ9Wg2MNedWcB5EojvdTzrE-emDtSYzZUKKtvzkYde7re7H8Sq4kvYwv0wxSM3s7qPfJShxrs4mm9qK5FEQQ9dMVcdTzK_tJiDmdF2BhDGRCzw/s1600-r/zzvzzz.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
Wanna know more about my job as the Royal Vet? It's not as glamorous as it sounds!<br />
Especially my first day..... Which was a train wreck!!! Anywho...If you wanna hear all about it... Including how I met the Royal Bartender...Then you need to go check out her blog post today...<br />
Cause I am guest posting for her!<br />
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<center><a href="http://justjen68.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src="http://i610.photobucket.com/albums/tt185/lilphoenixbaseball/jenbutton.png" /></a></center><br />
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Isn't she awesome!?!? Plus if you aren't reading all of us Royal Workers then you are missing out on the fun!<br />
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Also it is Thursday... Which means I am interviewing another bad girl over at the BGC!!<br />
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<a href="http://badgirlbloggers.blogspot.com/"><img alt="Bad Girl Bloggers Button" src="http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af60/grafixwife1/Bad-Girls-Button-2.png" /></a><br />
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The sexy Naughty Mommy herself!!! Go and check out all the dirty secrets I got out of her!<br />MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-41509317283989956492012-01-03T20:21:00.001-08:002012-01-03T20:21:35.177-08:00The Royal Vet. 10/20/10<br />
So as you all know the Royal princess CB has run off. I have heard that she is in sex rehab. (Yes I read the trashy tabloids!!) I also heard she was over worked and is "resting". Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!<br />
I am gonna tell ya the truth! Cause you'll all find out anyways.<br />
The hooker is CRAZY! We don't call her CRAZY BRUNETTE for nothin! She decided to join the circus as a juggling palm reader. No lie. They came through here last week. CB went all nuts for a stunt driver named Kyle. Now the Duchess was already sinking into the bath tub thanks to the AARP trying to recruit her a few years too early. The Queen was hollerin all kinds of crazy that CB was starting a high class gentleman's club and was gonna try to steal clients.<br />
Go to the circus...see the drunkard in heels juggling 15 flaming knives at once while cussing like a sailor and trying to keep her clothes on? That's CB.<br />
Anywho.<br />
I did order that spoiled princess the stupid flamingo that she begged Queeny and I for. I was stressing out all week about the poor thing getting here and no CB to welcome it. But in the end I didn't have to worry much.<br />
They sent me the wrong Flamingo.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs1hntrzxRdPwkAGVwqvhaMlpC-9J8kS0QHjmLe-k62LC4wQLKi7m9Ojb47G5-NFg-PnUktWuihJakMoA1nbxrrgAQe7N-gCLwY2_2_ctAoTkFlsstnBh-Zs9uLzWlc6TZ7hhroIOmR_E/s1600/flamingo_medium01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs1hntrzxRdPwkAGVwqvhaMlpC-9J8kS0QHjmLe-k62LC4wQLKi7m9Ojb47G5-NFg-PnUktWuihJakMoA1nbxrrgAQe7N-gCLwY2_2_ctAoTkFlsstnBh-Zs9uLzWlc6TZ7hhroIOmR_E/s320/flamingo_medium01.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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Ya apparently the news that the princess had flown the coop got out as quickly as usual and we had people lined up around the moat to take her place. This one decided to come in by crate. What she didn't know was that the Queen wasn't lookin to replace CB. So she sent the "Flamingo" out to work the corner!<br />
Some of the other idiots thought they would get in with the Queen, if they were as loved by the gators as CB was.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1z2XwowPea8zM86_brRFi2MCfin2RLBam4RQnc6jEt8MPnY_1vsNm7LV4Ka2u7psbZqJNofzlekGb41TtxyqwTkAq1Lj8YMFWFTiDbdXnrnRWNbA4exP4Y8-y7lOaM35zKseVm2_BeMs/s1600/alligatorwrestle2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1z2XwowPea8zM86_brRFi2MCfin2RLBam4RQnc6jEt8MPnY_1vsNm7LV4Ka2u7psbZqJNofzlekGb41TtxyqwTkAq1Lj8YMFWFTiDbdXnrnRWNbA4exP4Y8-y7lOaM35zKseVm2_BeMs/s320/alligatorwrestle2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Ya....I can't show the pics of what happened after this pic was taken.<br />
And I wish I could erase the memories from my brain!<br />
Thankfully that got everyone's attention and they decided it was better to leave ASAP!<br />
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The press has been all over the Queen that we should have signs up warning people about the gators to prevent "feedings".<br />
The Royal and Gator point of view is that it's a huge castle, with a moat...If you can't figure out not to get to close then you deserve to be fed to the gators. However to appease the press the Queen did finally put up a sign:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqk6WFmwM9gpp5B9srxBuio0CP1Ol6XpnJ26T_ZYUhu15gIaCrGs0tfdmQ0KAzdEC0nS7LQW9cGy4w-dZWmdnIHFtq-DIERtW_r2PsD52Jqg9g6sZXDpJgmChrd_enEk6yZxy1M0ZQ034/s1600/alligator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqk6WFmwM9gpp5B9srxBuio0CP1Ol6XpnJ26T_ZYUhu15gIaCrGs0tfdmQ0KAzdEC0nS7LQW9cGy4w-dZWmdnIHFtq-DIERtW_r2PsD52Jqg9g6sZXDpJgmChrd_enEk6yZxy1M0ZQ034/s320/alligator.jpg" width="278" /></a></div>
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I think that makes a pretty good point.<br />
The alligator's were fed nicely this week though. There was an incident with a shoe salesman who didn't get the queen's affinity for alligators and expected her to love these:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuMMHcy3vPbHScPIMlSsalkGoC4ghrAUXpm3bRzJlrp4cVauLuc9S7bCk6iPXfIn7on8ImaVtGl36ktO0QI_5SmpeX6MFCXPzURW6K3J9NNvcTGQChI9_mwXk48uI5-DjWCbmRWLzIlbM/s1600/alligatorshoes-490x348.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuMMHcy3vPbHScPIMlSsalkGoC4ghrAUXpm3bRzJlrp4cVauLuc9S7bCk6iPXfIn7on8ImaVtGl36ktO0QI_5SmpeX6MFCXPzURW6K3J9NNvcTGQChI9_mwXk48uI5-DjWCbmRWLzIlbM/s320/alligatorshoes-490x348.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She was not pleased! As I am sure you can imagine! And neither were the gators!!<br />
It's been a crazy week at the royal castle!<br />
Stay tuned for more adventures of the Royal Vet!<br />
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<br /></div>MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8299541801582103570.post-76358384851462489712012-01-03T20:20:00.000-08:002012-01-03T20:20:28.912-08:00The Royal Vet. 10/15/10<br />
As many of you know I am getting ready to start college to become a Vet Tech.<br />
The great thing is that I have my first job!!!<br />
The Queen <s>because I kissed ass and threw myself at her feet begging.</s> in her infinite wisdom has Royally decreed that I am THE Royal Vet. She even made me a badge to get past the guards.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-yErS2zJN1IYtJj21mQYtMufCae9PGocVyq6Gi0sjaYCEFFOLIFM0lNWuPtqi6PSDHPGa1oM75jcnM2O7GqJwbIyIYYDb61cHALGoB7GBaImqfidghuPGfeYbTvR4Xfuc0_-58gfhYQI/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-yErS2zJN1IYtJj21mQYtMufCae9PGocVyq6Gi0sjaYCEFFOLIFM0lNWuPtqi6PSDHPGa1oM75jcnM2O7GqJwbIyIYYDb61cHALGoB7GBaImqfidghuPGfeYbTvR4Xfuc0_-58gfhYQI/s1600/zzvzzz.gif" /></a></div>
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Now, I don't have the time to write my own version of the Peon Diary's like Donda.<br />
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<a href="http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/search/label/Peon%20Diaries"><img alt="Peon Diaries" src="http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af60/grafixwife1/Diary-button.png" /></a><br />
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I mean there is a whole team of BodyGuards and only ONE Vet! I am kept busy!</div>
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Plus I did sign a non disclosure agreement. But to try to help gain the royals some good publicity the queen is allowing me to share certain pictures and tidbits of information.</div>
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So I will try to update you as often as I can!</div>
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One thing I can tell you is that these Gators do have some manners. I went out to feed them one day and was pleasantly surprised to find out that they dress for dinner! (For their regulalry scheduled meals, if someone "Falls" into the moat then of course it's "Come as you are"!) These alligators have to be fairly smart. They need to know the difference between eating an enemy that "falls" in compared to a Royal who drunkenly stumbles in to try and Play with the gators. </div>
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Le Sigh.</div>
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<a href="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs12/i/2006/281/9/5/alligator_by_cashin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs12/i/2006/281/9/5/alligator_by_cashin.jpg" width="219" /></a></div>
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A few of the Alligators can mumble somewhat intelligible words.</div>
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<a href="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs37/f/2008/273/d/4/Hungry_Alligator_by_pokemonruler.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs37/f/2008/273/d/4/Hungry_Alligator_by_pokemonruler.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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And one Alligator is the Queen's personal pet!</div>
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She's nicknamed him </div>
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"My White Knight"</div>
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<a href="http://fc04.deviantart.net/images3/i/2005/150/2/9/White_Knight_by_TwiceSilence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://fc04.deviantart.net/images3/i/2005/150/2/9/White_Knight_by_TwiceSilence.jpg" width="227" /></a></div>
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It's good to have a man around the house!!</div>
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I'm on the alligator crap list already because I had to get them caught up on their vaccinations.</div>
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But with everything that um...falls..into their moat they need to be protected!</div>
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So they have me digging through their poo.</div>
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One Gator scared me half to death cause his was glittery!</div>
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Apparently he ate some mouthy Pimp that tried to bitch slap the Queen.</div>
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And then the Pimp mysteriously lost his way and ended up fallin in the moat!</div>
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Now that's Karma.</div>
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So far I have a collection of hooker shoes, bling, and gin bottles from Gator scat.</div>
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Glad I am here to keep their intestines going strong!!</div>
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<a href="http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs30/i/2008/172/d/8/alligator_by_tonywpt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs30/i/2008/172/d/8/alligator_by_tonywpt.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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I am happy to report that the Gator's are all fat and happy!.</div>
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More to come later!</div>
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<img src="http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af60/grafixwife1/MissC-Signature-1.png" /><br />MissCrystalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00375374143582598912noreply@blogger.com0